Greetings, World! Another beautiful, blue cold morning.
I meditated last night for twenty minutes (monkey mind, but I tried to "think nothing of" my thoughts), with my feet soaking in a bowl of hot water and sage oil, with the sound of Tibetan bowls on my cd player. Hey, you don't think I'm making myself too comfortable at this do you??!! Anna.
Anna, that sounds lovely. Did you know it was Tibetan new year yesterday? It is beautiful in London too this morning - snow in the air, though none is actually forecast for the South-East.
One of my blog-buddies, Michael, a buddhist meditator, is in particular need of good thoughts this week. Maybe some of you would like to think of him when you meditate today and tomorrow: http://tinyurl.com/oefz9
Hello all Anna, sounds totally wonderful. What does the sage oil do?
Jean, thank you for the link to Michael.
Thank you all for your good wishes re my recent unwellness. Yesterday I felt much better and this has continued today.
I sat this morning but haven't followed my commitment to sit in the afternoons as well these two few days. Hmmm. Not good. Repairs in order for tomorrow. But this morning's session felt particularly calming and grounding.
In answer to your question a few days ago, Dale, the Science Professor and I have decided to continue our amorous interludes. Whether a woman in her mid-fifties can ever have a 'just sexual' relationship is worth pondering. After a lifetime of loving and caring for others, no, I don't think it's possible...
But I have learnt much in the last week with reconnecting to two men who are most important to me. My feelings of rejection were just that: my own illusions, a reality I created for myself so I could wallow in self pity.
I nearly did it with the latest man, too. Sometimes if you can't disappear you can make the other person disappear instead. It was a good lesson for me.
Though yet another man is now sending me increasingly sweet and sexual emails and, oh.
Do I put a stop to it at once, put up boundaries, or allow him to write the beautiful words he's writing. My preference is the latter, with qualifiers, because, ya know, I support writers writing from their hearts...
Oh, sigh.
Back to loving-kindness.
Meditation is fine, as it usually is. It's my life that's...
I should say 'increasing sensuality' of his emails; he's tapping into a level in his writing that he hasn't in a long time and it's wonderful to witness. You know, I wish it was possible to start these flames, this quickening pulse, the outpouring of poetry of the heart, without having to be the sole harbinger for their beauty. If I was a good 'muse' I'd just encourage him to write, but not really offer anything at all. I wouldn't worry about the ethics, about anyone getting hurt, I'd trust that he'd be stronger and happier in himself for this unfolding of a part of his spirit.
It doesn't work that way, though. I have to do a delicate dance and then disappear, otherwise he'll come to expect more than I can give.
6 Comments:
Greetings, World! Another beautiful, blue cold morning.
I meditated last night for twenty minutes (monkey mind, but I tried to "think nothing of" my thoughts), with my feet soaking in a bowl of hot water and sage oil, with the sound of Tibetan bowls on my cd player. Hey, you don't think I'm making myself too comfortable at this do you??!!
Anna.
Anna, that sounds lovely. Did you know it was Tibetan new year yesterday? It is beautiful in London too this morning - snow in the air, though none is actually forecast for the South-East.
One of my blog-buddies, Michael, a buddhist meditator, is in particular need of good thoughts this week. Maybe some of you would like to think of him when you meditate today and tomorrow: http://tinyurl.com/oefz9
I didn't, Jean - how interesting and thanks for telling me. Good wishes sent Michael's way.
Anna.
Hello all
Anna, sounds totally wonderful. What does the sage oil do?
Jean, thank you for the link to Michael.
Thank you all for your good wishes re my recent unwellness. Yesterday I felt much better and this has continued today.
I sat this morning but haven't followed my commitment to sit in the afternoons as well these two few days. Hmmm. Not good. Repairs in order for tomorrow. But this morning's session felt particularly calming and grounding.
In answer to your question a few days ago, Dale, the Science Professor and I have decided to continue our amorous interludes. Whether a woman in her mid-fifties can ever have a 'just sexual' relationship is worth pondering. After a lifetime of loving and caring for others, no, I don't think it's possible...
But I have learnt much in the last week with reconnecting to two men who are most important to me. My feelings of rejection were just that: my own illusions, a reality I created for myself so I could wallow in self pity.
I nearly did it with the latest man, too. Sometimes if you can't disappear you can make the other person disappear instead. It was a good lesson for me.
Though yet another man is now sending me increasingly sweet and sexual emails and, oh.
Do I put a stop to it at once, put up boundaries, or allow him to write the beautiful words he's writing. My preference is the latter, with qualifiers, because, ya know, I support writers writing from their hearts...
Oh, sigh.
Back to loving-kindness.
Meditation is fine, as it usually is. It's my life that's...
I should say 'increasing sensuality' of his emails; he's tapping into a level in his writing that he hasn't in a long time and it's wonderful to witness. You know, I wish it was possible to start these flames, this quickening pulse, the outpouring of poetry of the heart, without having to be the sole harbinger for their beauty. If I was a good 'muse' I'd just encourage him to write, but not really offer anything at all. I wouldn't worry about the ethics, about anyone getting hurt, I'd trust that he'd be stronger and happier in himself for this unfolding of a part of his spirit.
It doesn't work that way, though. I have to do a delicate dance and then disappear, otherwise he'll come to expect more than I can give.
Oh, sigh. Back to loving-kindness meditation...
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