Wonderful stuff from yesterday. thank you everyone.
Jusr to say that I feel that for now my biggest practice is connection with sentient beings. Suddenly during my sitting today I realised that throughout my childhood I was disconnecting for the reasons of emotional survival (nothing horrible, just your average difficult mum!) and that I still think that that is what I have to do to survive. realising this is not the case, and in fact it is the opposite, is pretty huge for me, and such knowledge can come in a session which is more profound that stuff that has 'come up' in years of therapy, I find...
Ruth, I just wanted to say that for me the result of ALL my meditation practice has been a feeling of greater connection with all sentient beings, whether or not the practice has had this as an explicit focus. The heart of what it's all about and what keeps me doing it is that it has really changed how I perceive myself and 'everyone else'. And, yes, I've also found that this has been more profound than years of therapy! On the retreat I did last summer with Reb Anderson from San Francisco Zen Centre, he spoke very well about this and I was struck to the heart by what he said and how well it articulated my experience. If I can find a quote in either of his books I'll post it here. I think I blogged about this a while ago (yes, it was 30 August - Degrees of Separation). I know this may not be exactly what you meant. It's easy to leap on someone's else's ponderings because something strikes a chord of identification. But anyway, this resonates very deeply with me.
I am with Moira on the meat/vegetarian issue. I do still eat fish, and very occasionally I will have meat if my host/hostess has prepared it for a social occasion. But my rule of thumb is if I can't do it (ie kill an animal for food),I shouldn't expect anyone else to do it for me. And I do try and stay mindful if I can. This is just for me, though - we are all different.
Sat the last two mornings - my minimum 5 mins this morning, not sure what was going on- just couldn't focus and I lostmy intention. I am very glad I have kept the bar low re length of session or else I don't think I would have meditated atall.
The meditation sessions seem to be coming easier these days. Just thought I'd mention, I was absolutely overwhelmed with such a strong feeling of gratitude a few days ago during meditation, enough to bring me to tears. It still clings to me. On the other side, am a bit overwhelmed with certain world events today, which also bring me to tears. Wacky hormones seem to make for some rawness. I'll focus on the gratitude; it seems to be an important step towards acceptance, letting go, and enjoying the journey.
Ruth, disconnection is such an effective way of coping as a child. Often, we carry these habits through to adulthood without realizing it. I wonder if those who feel the need to disconnect are often those who are most sensitive to the environment around them.
jean I read your beautiful post on separation and it moved me tremendously. Thank you.
Yep, hope I get a bit closer through meditation. I'm always fighting for space, as if there weren't enough for me in the universe.
Your gratitude made me cry too, Moira. and I think you may be right about the environment. makes sense. I am always lurching towards it as if is the only thing I don't have to share with anyone else.
More of J's family coming tomorrow so I am going to try and observe this next week.
I 'bought' the Wallace book Dale recommened on amazon but got refunded as they said it was out of print so opted for his most recent. Struggling a little with the latest but reading a little before my sitting. Much of it seems a little too advanced for me!
6 Comments:
Wonderful stuff from yesterday. thank you everyone.
Jusr to say that I feel that for now my biggest practice is connection with sentient beings. Suddenly during my sitting today I realised that throughout my childhood I was disconnecting for the reasons of emotional survival (nothing horrible, just your average difficult mum!) and that I still think that that is what I have to do to survive. realising this is not the case, and in fact it is the opposite, is pretty huge for me, and such knowledge can come in a session which is more profound that stuff that has 'come up' in years of therapy, I find...
Got to ccok for 6 now so better sign off.
naekfrl
Ruth, I just wanted to say that for me the result of ALL my meditation practice has been a feeling of greater connection with all sentient beings, whether or not the practice has had this as an explicit focus. The heart of what it's all about and what keeps me doing it is that it has really changed how I perceive myself and 'everyone else'. And, yes, I've also found that this has been more profound than years of therapy! On the retreat I did last summer with Reb Anderson from San Francisco Zen Centre, he spoke very well about this and I was struck to the heart by what he said and how well it articulated my experience. If I can find a quote in either of his books I'll post it here. I think I blogged about this a while ago (yes, it was 30 August - Degrees of Separation). I know this may not be exactly what you meant. It's easy to leap on someone's else's ponderings because something strikes a chord of identification. But anyway, this resonates very deeply with me.
Very helpful posts!
I am with Moira on the meat/vegetarian issue. I do still eat fish, and very occasionally I will have meat if my host/hostess has prepared it for a social occasion. But my rule of thumb is if I can't do it (ie kill an animal for food),I shouldn't expect anyone else to do it for me. And I do try and stay mindful if I can. This is just for me, though - we are all different.
Sat the last two mornings - my minimum 5 mins this morning, not sure what was going on- just couldn't focus and I lostmy intention. I am very glad I have kept the bar low re length of session or else I don't think I would have meditated atall.
The meditation sessions seem to be coming easier these days. Just thought I'd mention, I was absolutely overwhelmed with such a strong feeling of gratitude a few days ago during meditation, enough to bring me to tears. It still clings to me. On the other side, am a bit overwhelmed with certain world events today, which also bring me to tears. Wacky hormones seem to make for some rawness. I'll focus on the gratitude; it seems to be an important step towards acceptance, letting go, and enjoying the journey.
Ruth, disconnection is such an effective way of coping as a child. Often, we carry these habits through to adulthood without realizing it. I wonder if those who feel the need to disconnect are often those who are most sensitive to the environment around them.
jean I read your beautiful post on separation and it moved me tremendously. Thank you.
Yep, hope I get a bit closer through meditation. I'm always fighting for space, as if there weren't enough for me in the universe.
Your gratitude made me cry too, Moira. and I think you may be right about the environment. makes sense. I am always lurching towards it as if is the only thing I don't have to share with anyone else.
More of J's family coming tomorrow so I am going to try and observe this next week.
I 'bought' the Wallace book Dale recommened on amazon but got refunded as they said it was out of print so opted for his most recent. Struggling a little with the latest but reading a little before my sitting. Much of it seems a little too advanced for me!
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