I've been sitting a few minutes per day, the last couple days, wherever I find myself. (Last night it was lying in bed, which is cheating, I know.) Sick at home seems like the perfect time & place to practice, but actually it just makes it very unlikely for me to concentrate my motivation, gather the scraps of myself, enough for any sitting.
Thanks, all, for keeping the pot stirred for me when I'm not having much oomph for stirring it myself!
Love to you all. I'll be holding your cat in my practice, Mary. (One of the lovely things about becoming a card-carrying Buddhist is that I no longer have to be ashamed of thinking of animals as persons. I always have, but I used to feel I had to pretend I didn't.)
Dale: Thanks for this. I know from recent experience about the difficulty in focussing when you're sick at home ... it is hard, much more than one would imagine. Hope you are feeling much better with each passing day.
Re your last para, could you elaborate on the Buddhist view of animals? I find what you have written intriguing. Oh, and the cat's a bit perkier, eating better. Thank you for "holding" him.
All: although I don't have a partner at the moment I have found the recent discussion re boundaries when living with someone who doesn't practise very helpful. Thank you.
Oh yes, and I sat yesterday (Sun). Good. Didn't get a "good feeling" reward but I know that's not a necessity.
oh Dale, I hope you feel better soon. Sorry not to be there to give you a hug and a good bowl of chicken soup except of course you must be vegetarian....I always think a few days in bed sick will be a great time to read but I never do - just stare out of the window and miss my mum (it's the only time i do!)
All your writing about partners has been just what I needed to move on. I was tested yesterday. Managed to make time to sit in the middle of an argument which went on into the night. I think I managed to hold on to the sharp edge just a bit less than normal and found myself able to see the bigger picture, reach out in the darkness (and consequently move back to love from anger) a bit faster. Just a bit. baby steps but important ones.
We're feeling good today. A bit battered but clear again even though the issue is not entirely resolved. Normally there is a black cloud hanging around for two days. Phew. Thank you all for your support!(And our cats who know exactly when to stay away and when to move back in.) It's a rich journey and I realise that the home is the place for the deepest practice.
Dale, I hope you feel better soon! I'm better, mostly, from my recent bout with chills & fever. Sickness is weird: sometimes it makes it impossible to practice, and sometimes it actually helps. (I think Jean said this a while back, too.) In my case, being *tired* helped bring me back to my practice...but if you're tired & nauseous (or headachey), practice is pretty impossible
Mary, I can't speak toward Dale's view of animals, but here's how I interpreted what he says. As a Zen-head, every morning I recite the Four Great Vows, the first one being a promise to save ALL sentient beings. So my practice isn't just for me or just for humans: it's for all suffering creatures. So meditating for a cat isn't goofy: it's sound Zen practice! :-)
(I even take the concept of "sentient beings" a step or two further, including rocks, trees, and the earth itself in the mix.)
Ruth, good luck & healing "vibes" to you as you continue working on the balance between practice & relationship. Zen Master Seung Sahn (the teacher who founded my Zen school) used to say there are 3 ways to attain enlightenment: becoming a monk or nun, joining the military, or getting married. And he always remarked that becoming a monk or nun was the *easiest* path, designed for lazy practitioners, and getting married was the *most difficult* path, designed for high-class practitioners.
And oh yeah...I sat 20 minutes this (Monday) morning. :-)
Oh, I like Seung Sahn's remark! (It's especially good in contrast to the Christian tradition which has historically placed so much emphasis on celibacy as being the only true way to spiritual progress - while monks like Merton imply that the real struggle in a monastery is not with solitude and God, but with human relationships and the constant irritations they create.) I've said on occasion that "marriage is my monastery" - not meaning that it creates solitude (although, paradoxically, it does; we can find solitude anywhere, if we look, I think) but that it is the perfect place in which to practice. In our marriage, we sometimes speak about how we walked through a door together and shut it behind us: that is our private sacred place, and it is also the place where we work on all that "stuff" -- and the world doesn't enter there.
Ruth - I'm glad to hear that you were able to be a little "softer" with the emotions surrounding the argument. I find meditation does give that space to me - although sometimes I certainly have trouble finding it! Sitting regularly really helps.
I've been keeping up my 20 minutes most days; sat both days this weekend and although yesterday I was SO distracted and restless, it was still good.
Beth, as a follow-up to your statement about "marriage as a monastery," ZMSS always used to talk about what he called "together-action," his Korean-American term for the type of communal living people experience in Zen Centers (or in marriages, for that matter).
He'd explain that in Korea, the way they cleaned potatoes was to put a bunch in a pot, cover them with water, and then stir. Because the potatos rubbed up against one another, you didn't have to scrub them individually: the combination of water & friction got them clean.
So living together with a community of people (or just one person) is like that: you continually rub against them & their karma, and in the sometimes-bumpy process you get cleaned of karma, too.
Beth, I'm with you. I've always found the whole celibacy-is-most-spiritual line of thinking perplexing. But then my orientation is earthier than some. Seems to me we're here to interact, it's in our nature, and figuring out how to do it lovingly is perhaps the highest calling (especially with ourselves, but with others, too -- ALL others, including cats).
To me, the finest trick of marriage is the balance between individual blossoming and blossoming together. It can be done. But there are times it's very tricky. And both sides of that balance are essential.
Missed a few days sitting. And I missed it. I felt it in the way I got upset over a couple things. I don't think I would have quite so much had I been sitting.
Sat this morning 20 minutes. I'm beginning to notice mental transitions within the timeframe, at about 5 minutes and then again at about 15 minutes. It's making me wonder what I'd experience if I went to 30, but I don't feel ready to go there quite yet.
Y'all are making me grateful for my (so far!) good health. My best to those who are not.
8 Comments:
Sorry to be late posting today's date.
I've been sitting a few minutes per day, the last couple days, wherever I find myself. (Last night it was lying in bed, which is cheating, I know.) Sick at home seems like the perfect time & place to practice, but actually it just makes it very unlikely for me to concentrate my motivation, gather the scraps of myself, enough for any sitting.
Thanks, all, for keeping the pot stirred for me when I'm not having much oomph for stirring it myself!
Love to you all. I'll be holding your cat in my practice, Mary. (One of the lovely things about becoming a card-carrying Buddhist is that I no longer have to be ashamed of thinking of animals as persons. I always have, but I used to feel I had to pretend I didn't.)
Dale: Thanks for this. I know from recent experience about the difficulty in focussing when you're sick at home ... it is hard, much more than one would imagine. Hope you are feeling much better with each passing day.
Re your last para, could you elaborate on the Buddhist view of animals? I find what you have written intriguing. Oh, and the cat's a bit perkier, eating better. Thank you for "holding" him.
All: although I don't have a partner at the moment I have found the recent discussion re boundaries when living with someone who doesn't practise very helpful. Thank you.
Oh yes, and I sat yesterday (Sun). Good. Didn't get a "good feeling" reward but I know that's not a necessity.
oh Dale, I hope you feel better soon. Sorry not to be there to give you a hug and a good bowl of chicken soup except of course you must be vegetarian....I always think a few days in bed sick will be a great time to read but I never do - just stare out of the window and miss my mum (it's the only time i do!)
All your writing about partners has been just what I needed to move on. I was tested yesterday. Managed to make time to sit in the middle of an argument which went on into the night. I think I managed to hold on to the sharp edge just a bit less than normal and found myself able to see the bigger picture, reach out in the darkness (and consequently move back to love from anger) a bit faster. Just a bit. baby steps but important ones.
We're feeling good today. A bit battered but clear again even though the issue is not entirely resolved. Normally there is a black cloud hanging around for two days. Phew. Thank you all for your support!(And our cats who know exactly when to stay away and when to move back in.) It's a rich journey and I realise that the home is the place for the deepest practice.
Dale, I hope you feel better soon! I'm better, mostly, from my recent bout with chills & fever. Sickness is weird: sometimes it makes it impossible to practice, and sometimes it actually helps. (I think Jean said this a while back, too.) In my case, being *tired* helped bring me back to my practice...but if you're tired & nauseous (or headachey), practice is pretty impossible
Mary, I can't speak toward Dale's view of animals, but here's how I interpreted what he says. As a Zen-head, every morning I recite the Four Great Vows, the first one being a promise to save ALL sentient beings. So my practice isn't just for me or just for humans: it's for all suffering creatures. So meditating for a cat isn't goofy: it's sound Zen practice! :-)
(I even take the concept of "sentient beings" a step or two further, including rocks, trees, and the earth itself in the mix.)
Ruth, good luck & healing "vibes" to you as you continue working on the balance between practice & relationship. Zen Master Seung Sahn (the teacher who founded my Zen school) used to say there are 3 ways to attain enlightenment: becoming a monk or nun, joining the military, or getting married. And he always remarked that becoming a monk or nun was the *easiest* path, designed for lazy practitioners, and getting married was the *most difficult* path, designed for high-class practitioners.
And oh yeah...I sat 20 minutes this (Monday) morning. :-)
Oh, I like Seung Sahn's remark! (It's especially good in contrast to the Christian tradition which has historically placed so much emphasis on celibacy as being the only true way to spiritual progress - while monks like Merton imply that the real struggle in a monastery is not with solitude and God, but with human relationships and the constant irritations they create.) I've said on occasion that "marriage is my monastery" - not meaning that it creates solitude (although, paradoxically, it does; we can find solitude anywhere, if we look, I think) but that it is the perfect place in which to practice. In our marriage, we sometimes speak about how we walked through a door together and shut it behind us: that is our private sacred place, and it is also the place where we work on all that "stuff" -- and the world doesn't enter there.
Ruth - I'm glad to hear that you were able to be a little "softer" with the emotions surrounding the argument. I find meditation does give that space to me - although sometimes I certainly have trouble finding it! Sitting regularly really helps.
I've been keeping up my 20 minutes most days; sat both days this weekend and although yesterday I was SO distracted and restless, it was still good.
Brilliant Lorraine, and Beth!!! ooh this is juicy.
Beth, as a follow-up to your statement about "marriage as a monastery," ZMSS always used to talk about what he called "together-action," his Korean-American term for the type of communal living people experience in Zen Centers (or in marriages, for that matter).
He'd explain that in Korea, the way they cleaned potatoes was to put a bunch in a pot, cover them with water, and then stir. Because the potatos rubbed up against one another, you didn't have to scrub them individually: the combination of water & friction got them clean.
So living together with a community of people (or just one person) is like that: you continually rub against them & their karma, and in the sometimes-bumpy process you get cleaned of karma, too.
And then you can make potato pancakes: hmmmm! :-)
I love the potato analogy.
Beth, I'm with you. I've always found the whole celibacy-is-most-spiritual line of thinking perplexing. But then my orientation is earthier than some. Seems to me we're here to interact, it's in our nature, and figuring out how to do it lovingly is perhaps the highest calling (especially with ourselves, but with others, too -- ALL others, including cats).
To me, the finest trick of marriage is the balance between individual blossoming and blossoming together. It can be done. But there are times it's very tricky. And both sides of that balance are essential.
Missed a few days sitting. And I missed it. I felt it in the way I got upset over a couple things. I don't think I would have quite so much had I been sitting.
Sat this morning 20 minutes. I'm beginning to notice mental transitions within the timeframe, at about 5 minutes and then again at about 15 minutes. It's making me wonder what I'd experience if I went to 30, but I don't feel ready to go there quite yet.
Y'all are making me grateful for my (so far!) good health. My best to those who are not.
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