I sat this morning, and it was lovely. Peaceful and calming. And I was unfocussed on occasions but it somehow didn't matter.
Re Jean's post on the previous thread. Reincarnation: well it makes sense to me but I may be wrong!
Being alone. I love the freedom and lack of constraints. But, I do feel I have failed badly in a pretty major area of this life by not being able to sustain an ongoing relationship. Would it have been easier if I had been married and divorced, rather than never married? Don't know. Do I think others have failed because they are single? No. But I am awfully tired of this failure millstone I seem to have fashioned for myself, which brings me back to meditation, and the need to find a place to embrace it all (including the "failure"), and then extend this same compassion outward.
Whew. I have started to read the Pema Chodron book "The Places that Scare You", which I think will help address some of this stuff as well ...
the need to find a place to embrace it all (including the "failure"), and then extend this same compassion outward I love the way you put that, Mary. I've never really been alone, but I certainly don't look askance at my many friends who spend a lot of time alone. Not at all.
Compassion toward self is something I struggle with, connected to my recent struggles around meditation, for example.
It's going a bit better, but I still work to set aside self-judgment and just DO. (Thinking of Yoda now!) Sat for 15 minutes this morning, but not consecutively. ("Came to," mid-way to find myself looking across the room having been thinking about something that has been bothering me. I know that rumination, obsessive worrying, doesn't help. Refocused on the breath and started meditating again. Oy. It's been a while since I "slipped" that far.)
Tell me again that doing it, even if horribly imperfectly, is better than nothing...
Moose, it sounds like your definition of 'doing it' is much tougher than mine. If I'm sitting still and have an intention to meditate then I reckon that counts. I don't 'deduct' it if I wander or 'come to' in the middle! Not saying there is right or wrong definition here, just pointing out that it's subjective, and that doing it, even if imperfectly, is not only better than nothing but the whole point.
There's actually simply no way to not get distracted, except by the exertion of a huge overbearing determination that is, itself, nothing but one huge sustained distraction.
It's rather like putting a child to bed. You can't make a child sleep. You can only set the context, and hope. And when they get up, you put them back to bed. Getting stern and reading the riot act is the last thing that will be useful (though we all fall into doing it at some point anyway.)
There are some teachers who say that if you take the posture of meditation, then you're meditating, no matter what your mind does. That's a bit extreme, I think, but it's a more useful way to think of it (especially for us, hyper-self-critical Westerners that we are) than thinking of distraction as failure.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: if we didn't tend toward obsession and distraction there would be not the slightest reason to meditate.
I sat 15 minutes this morning. It was a noisy 15 minutes both internally & externally, but I sat through the noise.
Re. what "counts" as meditation, I'm with Jean. If I show up, I've done my part. I figure if I simply show up (and *keep* showing up), I can let my True Self (aka Buddha Nature) worry about the rest. :-)
Me too. Showing up had better count, since I think I spend a majority of my sitting time distracted!
I'm trying to get back to 5 minutes in the morning, and 20 late in the afternoon. Today I ran into a friend, a longtime Zen practitioner and teacher, in the grocery store. We talked a little about practice and I mentioned this group, which he found fascinating. Interestingly, he said he tries to sit briefly in the morning, just to remind himself and start his day with that awareness, and then do a longer period later on. I've always admired him so much for being so dedicated - but it turns out he leads a group on MWF, and says it's much harder to make himself sit on the "off" days. What I noticed was how easy and unpressured he was about it all.
I sat this afternoon. yesterday I felt really sick and so it was the first in a couple of days.
Moose, I heard somewhere that even if you have to bring yourself back a thousand times in a sitting to the breath, that is the practice. Sometimes I think that thousand little times is all bunched into one big time. (like when I made up a mailing list today...!)
I think I am just getting to understand that the idea is not to banish all thought but not to cease one's bare attention on it. there is a point when a thought comes in to my mind and I either look at it and let it go or I run with it.
I am noticing changes, especiqlly that I am much more present in my run and in housework - almost rejoicing in the opportunity to practice.
Sometimes it seems there is such a long way to go and such a short time...
so reincarnation makes alot of sense, almost taking the pressure off acheivement and releasing us back into having permission to be present to small things.
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I sat this morning, and it was lovely. Peaceful and calming. And I was unfocussed on occasions but it somehow didn't matter.
Re Jean's post on the previous thread. Reincarnation: well it makes sense to me but I may be wrong!
Being alone. I love the freedom and lack of constraints. But, I do feel I have failed badly in a pretty major area of this life by not being able to sustain an ongoing relationship. Would it have been easier if I had been married and divorced, rather than never married? Don't know. Do I think others have failed because they are single? No. But I am awfully tired of this failure millstone I seem to have fashioned for myself, which brings me back to meditation, and the need to find a place to embrace it all (including the "failure"), and then extend this same compassion outward.
Whew. I have started to read the Pema Chodron book "The Places that Scare You", which I think will help address some of this stuff as well ...
Thank you, Beth, for your good wishes.
the need to find a place to embrace it all (including the "failure"), and then extend this same compassion outward
I love the way you put that, Mary. I've never really been alone, but I certainly don't look askance at my many friends who spend a lot of time alone. Not at all.
Compassion toward self is something I struggle with, connected to my recent struggles around meditation, for example.
It's going a bit better, but I still work to set aside self-judgment and just DO. (Thinking of Yoda now!) Sat for 15 minutes this morning, but not consecutively. ("Came to," mid-way to find myself looking across the room having been thinking about something that has been bothering me. I know that rumination, obsessive worrying, doesn't help. Refocused on the breath and started meditating again. Oy. It's been a while since I "slipped" that far.)
Tell me again that doing it, even if horribly imperfectly, is better than nothing...
Moose, it sounds like your definition of 'doing it' is much tougher than mine. If I'm sitting still and have an intention to meditate then I reckon that counts. I don't 'deduct' it if I wander or 'come to' in the middle! Not saying there is right or wrong definition here, just pointing out that it's subjective, and that doing it, even if imperfectly, is not only better than nothing but the whole point.
There's actually simply no way to not get distracted, except by the exertion of a huge overbearing determination that is, itself, nothing but one huge sustained distraction.
It's rather like putting a child to bed. You can't make a child sleep. You can only set the context, and hope. And when they get up, you put them back to bed. Getting stern and reading the riot act is the last thing that will be useful (though we all fall into doing it at some point anyway.)
There are some teachers who say that if you take the posture of meditation, then you're meditating, no matter what your mind does. That's a bit extreme, I think, but it's a more useful way to think of it (especially for us, hyper-self-critical Westerners that we are) than thinking of distraction as failure.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: if we didn't tend toward obsession and distraction there would be not the slightest reason to meditate.
I sat 15 minutes this morning. It was a noisy 15 minutes both internally & externally, but I sat through the noise.
Re. what "counts" as meditation, I'm with Jean. If I show up, I've done my part. I figure if I simply show up (and *keep* showing up), I can let my True Self (aka Buddha Nature) worry about the rest. :-)
Me too. Showing up had better count, since I think I spend a majority of my sitting time distracted!
I'm trying to get back to 5 minutes in the morning, and 20 late in the afternoon. Today I ran into a friend, a longtime Zen practitioner and teacher, in the grocery store. We talked a little about practice and I mentioned this group, which he found fascinating. Interestingly, he said he tries to sit briefly in the morning, just to remind himself and start his day with that awareness, and then do a longer period later on. I've always admired him so much for being so dedicated - but it turns out he leads a group on MWF, and says it's much harder to make himself sit on the "off" days. What I noticed was how easy and unpressured he was about it all.
I sat this afternoon. yesterday I felt really sick and so it was the first in a couple of days.
Moose, I heard somewhere that even if you have to bring yourself back a thousand times in a sitting to the breath, that is the practice. Sometimes I think that thousand little times is all bunched into one big time. (like when I made up a mailing list today...!)
I think I am just getting to understand that the idea is not to banish all thought but not to cease one's bare attention on it. there is a point when a thought comes in to my mind and I either look at it and let it go or I run with it.
I am noticing changes, especiqlly that I am much more present in my run and in housework - almost rejoicing in the opportunity to practice.
Sometimes it seems there is such a long way to go and such a short time...
so reincarnation makes alot of sense, almost taking the pressure off acheivement and releasing us back into having permission to be present to small things.
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