I'm tired and I'm just spacing out when I sit. It feels like nothing. But I know the point is to keep doing it even when it feels like nothing. And I'm signing up for a class throughout June on 'energising your meditation' :-)
Dale, I wouldn't say it's 'dry' - perfectly pleasant, no sensation of disappointment or unhappiness; I'm still hearing the birds with pleasure in between 'zoning out'. I'm just not bringing enough energy to focus. But a more 'mind-filling' object of focus than the breath may be a good idea. I'll think about that.
Yoga class this morning. Relaxing can be so tough! 'I won't, I won't; I will, I will; if I do I'll cry; crying won't kill you stupid; I won't, I won't; I will; stop thinking! ah...' Tough. I know plenty of people as tense as me, but none of them would dream of doing yoga - sometimes it feels like the worst of both worlds, trying to do these things, but often finding them so hard! Not really, though, because afterwards both my body and my mind feel twice as long and twice as wide. Maybe it's not tiredness, but tension, or both, that's making meditation feel superficial the last few days.
Jean, I often use chanting to bring more focus and energy to my meditation
Kuan Yin has always been my personal bodhisattva, She who hears to cries of the world, so I chant the Kanzeon sutra. The words are not English, so there is not much chance for my mind to become engaged ... the sound and vibration create a calming effect
jean, sounds like you are being very courageous. Sometimes you just get enough. I don't believe in pushing. Observing your thoughts and feaqrs is certainly a beginning!
Builders and visitors - ouch. My practice is slipping and often, like the swifts just arrived, on the wing. But at the very least I take some concious breathing time. It's good to come back here and just check in.
I'm with Janice on chanting. I don't do it every day now but when I do it has a tremendously energising and clearing effect.
My new work assignment starts tomorrow (a short one) so I went to the Buddhist Centre AGAIN today ... grabbing the opportunities while I can. And maybe it's a tad obsessive, but it's a good thing to be obsessive about, IMO. And I can't get over how helpful it is to have instruction.
My mind wanders as much as it does at home but it seems more 'contained' in a group. And I really like the leader as well, which helps. He's just so relaxed..:-)
It has stimulated me to to be more wholehearted about my meditations at home. It will be interesting to see how the return to work affects it though ...
Mary, my thinking is, since I'm going to be obsessing on something anyway, I might as well be obsessing on something that actually has a track record of reducing obsessiveness :-)
Jean, I think Janice and Mary are right -- chanting, or prayers, or bows, or visualizations can help a lot both to mark off the transition and to remind yourself, or convince yourself, that you're doing something important.
I don't know if you do that sort of thing, but a lot of us with a critical & analytic bent tend skimp on that kind of preparation or even jettison it as extraneous baggage.
I've used a lot of different things like that over the years. One of the most fruitful was a visualization -- it probably only took thirty seconds -- of my death, made as probable as I could make it: the hospital, the nurses, the love and awkwardness and irritatingness of my family, pain and catheters and drip bags and all that. I'd just walk my way through the expiration of my consciousness, the panic of oxygen deprivation & the dark tunnel & maybe light at the end -- however you may imagine it. Sometimes I'd die at home, dropping down with a heart attack. All depended on what seemed likely at the time.
Any personalized version of "the four thoughts that turn the mind" that really grabs you at the moment -- for me they shift around a lot -- is good grist for that sort of thing.
Hugs to Jean...and "amens" to what Janice, Mary, & Dale have said about chanting, or bows, or *anything* other than sitting. If sitting makes you space out, try to mix in something else to give your mind something to "do" while meditating, like giving an antsy child a fascinating toy to occupy her.
I'm still in Ohio, still trying to adapt my at-home routine to my on-the-road schedule. That typically means meditating in the afternoon when I'm sleepy, so maybe chanting is exactly what I need, too.
Jean, I almost don't want to say it, but times like you describe can be blessings of their own- 'down time' so to speak. Sometimes it's a relief almost to be treading water, passing time, not really moving, not sure what the point is. Because then you can let yourself truly and deeply relax into what you're doing, the simplicity of it, the undemandingness of meditation. It never lasts; it's only a lull before the waves start up again. The turmoil begins again and meditation holds you steady. Where you are now, oh, from my vantage, how restful, what a respite.
But I know it's not like that at all. A mantra might help. Or a shift in focus somehow. That class sounds good. If 'energising your meditation' is energising your life, then, oh, my, yes!
11 Comments:
I'm tired and I'm just spacing out when I sit. It feels like nothing. But I know the point is to keep doing it even when it feels like nothing. And I'm signing up for a class throughout June on 'energising your meditation' :-)
{{{Jean}}}
that's hard, when your practice goes dry.
Have you tried using a different "object of meditation"?
Dale, I wouldn't say it's 'dry' - perfectly pleasant, no sensation of disappointment or unhappiness; I'm still hearing the birds with pleasure in between 'zoning out'. I'm just not bringing enough energy to focus. But a more 'mind-filling' object of focus than the breath may be a good idea. I'll think about that.
Yoga class this morning. Relaxing can be so tough! 'I won't, I won't; I will, I will; if I do I'll cry; crying won't kill you stupid; I won't, I won't; I will; stop thinking! ah...' Tough. I know plenty of people as tense as me, but none of them would dream of doing yoga - sometimes it feels like the worst of both worlds, trying to do these things, but often finding them so hard! Not really, though, because afterwards both my body and my mind feel twice as long and twice as wide. Maybe it's not tiredness, but tension, or both, that's making meditation feel superficial the last few days.
Jean, I often use chanting to bring more focus and energy to my meditation
Kuan Yin has always been my personal bodhisattva, She who hears to cries of the world, so I chant the Kanzeon sutra. The words are not English, so there is not much chance for my mind to become engaged ... the sound and vibration create a calming effect
jean, sounds like you are being very courageous. Sometimes you just get enough. I don't believe in pushing. Observing your thoughts and feaqrs is certainly a beginning!
Builders and visitors - ouch. My practice is slipping and often, like the swifts just arrived, on the wing. But at the very least I take some concious breathing time. It's good to come back here and just check in.
Great word veryfication:
TAKEM!
I'm with Janice on chanting. I don't do it every day now but when I do it has a tremendously energising and clearing effect.
My new work assignment starts tomorrow (a short one) so I went to the Buddhist Centre AGAIN today ... grabbing the opportunities while I can. And maybe it's a tad obsessive, but it's a good thing to be obsessive about, IMO. And I can't get over how helpful it is to have instruction.
My mind wanders as much as it does at home but it seems more 'contained' in a group. And I really like the leader as well, which helps. He's just so relaxed..:-)
It has stimulated me to to be more wholehearted about my meditations at home. It will be interesting to see how the return to work affects it though ...
Mary, my thinking is, since I'm going to be obsessing on something anyway, I might as well be obsessing on something that actually has a track record of reducing obsessiveness :-)
Jean, I think Janice and Mary are right -- chanting, or prayers, or bows, or visualizations can help a lot both to mark off the transition and to remind yourself, or convince yourself, that you're doing something important.
I don't know if you do that sort of thing, but a lot of us with a critical & analytic bent tend skimp on that kind of preparation or even jettison it as extraneous baggage.
I've used a lot of different things like that over the years. One of the most fruitful was a visualization -- it probably only took thirty seconds -- of my death, made as probable as I could make it: the hospital, the nurses, the love and awkwardness and irritatingness of my family, pain and catheters and drip bags and all that. I'd just walk my way through the expiration of my consciousness, the panic of oxygen deprivation & the dark tunnel & maybe light at the end -- however you may imagine it. Sometimes I'd die at home, dropping down with a heart attack. All depended on what seemed likely at the time.
Any personalized version of "the four thoughts that turn the mind" that really grabs you at the moment -- for me they shift around a lot -- is good grist for that sort of thing.
Hugs to Jean...and "amens" to what Janice, Mary, & Dale have said about chanting, or bows, or *anything* other than sitting. If sitting makes you space out, try to mix in something else to give your mind something to "do" while meditating, like giving an antsy child a fascinating toy to occupy her.
I'm still in Ohio, still trying to adapt my at-home routine to my on-the-road schedule. That typically means meditating in the afternoon when I'm sleepy, so maybe chanting is exactly what I need, too.
Walking meditation often works for me when I can't focus while sitting, or am too antsy.
"Conscious breathing" is the by-word here these days too -- glad to have some company, Ruth!
Jean, I almost don't want to say it, but times like you describe can be blessings of their own- 'down time' so to speak. Sometimes it's a relief almost to be treading water, passing time, not really moving, not sure what the point is. Because then you can let yourself truly and deeply relax into what you're doing, the simplicity of it, the undemandingness of meditation. It never lasts; it's only a lull before the waves start up again. The turmoil begins again and meditation holds you steady. Where you are now, oh, from my vantage, how restful, what a respite.
But I know it's not like that at all. A mantra might help. Or a shift in focus somehow. That class sounds good. If 'energising your meditation' is energising your life, then, oh, my, yes!
I need more of that too. xo
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