Sat for ten minutes this morning, the first time this week. Very squirrely, hardly able to hold still for a single minute. It was quite amusing watching myself think: a summer evening, Sascha, the circus, AppleScript, "The Ginger Man" by Donleavy...
Despite it all, somehow I do feel calmer and more centred now. Mission accomplished, I guess.
BTW, some time back there was discussion of a timer programme to interrupt your computer work every X minutes, to remind you to stretch & relax. Does anyone remember the link? (Couldn't find it on Google.)
It was said at the time that there was no MacOS version; I've thought of a way to do this with AppleScript and would like to post it there.
Sorry, the above comment was me. Got a bit too verbose.
Udge: I did the same thing this morning, i e listed all the thoughts that came up in my session:
New job that starts today (apprehension); the weather; umbrellas; my dad; a situation that caused me angst earlier this week; and the the comment on this morning's meditation session that I was going to post on 100 Days *rolls eyes heavenwards*.
And there were a few other thoughts that got away ...
The meditation teacher at the Buddhist Centre talks about smiling at the chaotic mind. Yup.
Udge, here's the link to that mindfulness bell for the computer (sorry, I've forgotten again how to do a hyperlink here, don't have time to look it up and wanted to post this before I forget):
http://tinyurl.co.uk/jk4w
Chanted om mani padme hum this morning, since it's the only thing I know how to chant. It helped - thank you all.
Dale, aiee, I think I'll leave thinking of my own death until I'm in a more up-beat mood :-) Seriously, I know that stuff doesn't make you miserable, but rather on the contrary, makes you more present and appreciative of life...
Mary and Udge, you made me laugh. A glimpse of someone else's monkey mind is always endearing.
Good luck with the new job, Mary. And hugs & hello's to everyone...
I'll be driving later this morning to my parents' house (about 2 hours from where I've been visiting Gary this past week), so I'll be out of the Internet loop in the meantime. I'm looking forward to doing some "driving meditation" en route, followed by some serious "spending time with my parents with the TV on constantly" meditation over the weekend.
I sat this morning (no builders!) and it really affected my day, despite how much my mind wandered. Perhaps it is to do with accepting oneself for a few minutes a day as much as anything.
dale, I did quite a lot of meditating on my own death. Not so graphic (yours is real CSI or ER, man!) but just about the fact that all the time I am dying, so what is the point in holding on to anything...? I find it really helps. I feel perhaps I should meditate on this in regards to my parents. I am so fearful of this.
Thank you, Ruth and everyone. I've meditated on my own death more than is probably good for me! It does lessen the fear, I think, and at times is even kind of humorous. What I've learned is that death is not the worst thing; in fact it is much more horrific to me to think of living without awareness of daily life, in all its positive and negative aspects.
I'm probably heading down to be with my parents again soon. My mother had another very bad day today; she is jaundiced now and refusing any more intervention/curative treatment, so clearly things are moving toward the end. I think it's time for me to be there more constantly. I will have internet access and will be very glad to check in here every day. Thanks for being "with" me; I'm "with" you too.
My ex-Mother-in-law passed away today. I was working in an office but I felt her presence so clearly, I knew. When I got home, my ex phoned and told our daughter. She said she just can't believe Granma won't be there this Summer, or at Christmas, that she won't see her again. We cried a lot. I helped her pack so she could catch the bus to Kitchener to be with her Dad and brother. The cancer was fast, just over a week from when it was discovered, thankfully. I didn't get to see Granma, the way it worked out, but I did spend 2 hours in the hospital on Wednesday feeling close. She was 84; a good long life. Bless her. Bless her. Bless her.
Thank you, Dale and MB. I wish I had a car to drive her there; and I wish I could hug my son, who's taking it very hard. Grief is the price for love, though, isn't it. Someone said that, I didn't like the way it was put, but, oh.
Beth, it must be so hard to be far away. The drive back each time, not knowing. My thoughts and prayers are with you, with your mother, with your family. xo
13 Comments:
Sat for ten minutes this morning, the first time this week. Very squirrely, hardly able to hold still for a single minute. It was quite amusing watching myself think: a summer evening, Sascha, the circus, AppleScript, "The Ginger Man" by Donleavy...
Despite it all, somehow I do feel calmer and more centred now. Mission accomplished, I guess.
Love and hugs to all.
BTW, some time back there was discussion of a timer programme to interrupt your computer work every X minutes, to remind you to stretch & relax. Does anyone remember the link? (Couldn't find it on Google.)
It was said at the time that there was no MacOS version; I've thought of a way to do this with AppleScript and would like to post it there.
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Sorry, the above comment was me. Got a bit too verbose.
Udge: I did the same thing this morning, i e listed all the thoughts that came up in my session:
New job that starts today (apprehension); the weather; umbrellas; my dad; a situation that caused me angst earlier this week; and the the comment on this morning's meditation session that I was going to post on 100 Days *rolls eyes heavenwards*.
And there were a few other thoughts that got away ...
The meditation teacher at the Buddhist Centre talks about smiling at the chaotic mind. Yup.
Udge, here's the link to that mindfulness bell for the computer (sorry, I've forgotten again how to do a hyperlink here, don't have time to look it up and wanted to post this before I forget):
http://tinyurl.co.uk/jk4w
Chanted om mani padme hum this morning, since it's the only thing I know how to chant. It helped - thank you all.
Dale, aiee, I think I'll leave thinking of my own death until I'm in a more up-beat mood :-) Seriously, I know that stuff doesn't make you miserable, but rather on the contrary, makes you more present and appreciative of life...
Mary and Udge, you made me laugh. A glimpse of someone else's monkey mind is always endearing.
Hope the job is ok, Mary.
Good luck with the new job, Mary. And hugs & hello's to everyone...
I'll be driving later this morning to my parents' house (about 2 hours from where I've been visiting Gary this past week), so I'll be out of the Internet loop in the meantime. I'm looking forward to doing some "driving meditation" en route, followed by some serious "spending time with my parents with the TV on constantly" meditation over the weekend.
I'll "see" y'all when I'm back to NH...
Good luck with the new job Mary!
I sat this morning (no builders!) and it really affected my day, despite how much my mind wandered. Perhaps it is to do with accepting oneself for a few minutes a day as much as anything.
dale, I did quite a lot of meditating on my own death. Not so graphic (yours is real CSI or ER, man!) but just about the fact that all the time I am dying, so what is the point in holding on to anything...? I find it really helps. I feel perhaps I should meditate on this in regards to my parents. I am so fearful of this.
My thoughts are still with you Beth.
Thank you, Ruth and everyone. I've meditated on my own death more than is probably good for me! It does lessen the fear, I think, and at times is even kind of humorous. What I've learned is that death is not the worst thing; in fact it is much more horrific to me to think of living without awareness of daily life, in all its positive and negative aspects.
I'm probably heading down to be with my parents again soon. My mother had another very bad day today; she is jaundiced now and refusing any more intervention/curative treatment, so clearly things are moving toward the end. I think it's time for me to be there more constantly. I will have internet access and will be very glad to check in here every day. Thanks for being "with" me; I'm "with" you too.
{{{Beth}}}
My ex-Mother-in-law passed away today. I was working in an office but I felt her presence so clearly, I knew. When I got home, my ex phoned and told our daughter. She said she just can't believe Granma won't be there this Summer, or at Christmas, that she won't see her again. We cried a lot. I helped her pack so she could catch the bus to Kitchener to be with her Dad and brother. The cancer was fast, just over a week from when it was discovered, thankfully. I didn't get to see Granma, the way it worked out, but I did spend 2 hours in the hospital on Wednesday feeling close. She was 84; a good long life. Bless her. Bless her. Bless her.
I'm sorry, Brenda. Hugs.
Udge, would you share that with us know when you have it figured out? Please?
Mary, good luck.
Beth... and Brenda... each with your own stories:
Much love to you.
Thank you, Dale and MB. I wish I had a car to drive her there; and I wish I could hug my son, who's taking it very hard. Grief is the price for love, though, isn't it. Someone said that, I didn't like the way it was put, but, oh.
Beth, it must be so hard to be far away. The drive back each time, not knowing. My thoughts and prayers are with you, with your mother, with your family. xo
hugs to all
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