Sorry this is late today. I never switch on the computer before I go to work, as this would frequently precipitate the scenario so eloquently described by Dale yesterday.
Hello everyone Before I say anything else, lots of love and virtual hugs all round after yesterday. Don't want to single anyone out .. everyone's included. And a special hug too for anyone who doesn't comment and feels they need it.
I kept my chanting and meditation commitment yesterday morning and evening and again this morning. Feels good and I'm happy to be more on track again.
The other good news is that I was offered some work for the first part of March, which has possibilities for something more long term if both sides want this.I have two areas of work. One I love to do but pays practically nothing at the moment; the other is more stressful (office work) but pays more, and there is a lot to be said for an income. Getting the balance is an ongoing challenge.
Loving kindness, I have glimpses of it occasionally .. easier to apply to others than to myself. Coincidentally I'm writing a post for my blog about it which will probably go up some time over the weekend. Too long for here.
Off to the kitchen now to whip up a virtual breakfast for Dale .:-)
Last night I left a nearly incoherent comment, and am not sure why I do that.
My blog identity has been in crisis since last Summer, and I waver trying to feel like I belong and disappearing off into other communities, where I would struggle with all the same issues without resolving them.
It has to do with the relationship to the muse. What else could it be? I went about 5 years without a relationship and could easily have chosen the spiritual path many of my single women friends in their 50s have who have decided to remain alone. My New Year's resolution in 2005 was to enter a relationship. By mid-year I was deeply into a cyber love affair with a fellow blogger who ultimately disappeared. It left me shaken, insecure in my writerly voice, unsure about the identities we present on-line, who I am or what I'm doing here.
I did, by year's end, just squeak in to the "have a relationship/get over the fears' with a man who decided we should have a relationship, and has held to that. He's 7 years younger and I told him to stop being silly and go away, but he didn't. He's a professor, and quite brilliant, and, seems to be a kind-hearted, generous person.
When I got on the subway and went in the wrong direction yesterday I was almost ecstatic. Not just about the bliss of falling in love, which is healthy and beautiful. It means somewhere inside I've healed enough to feel deeply again and to trust.
Whether I can gather that beautiful energy and bring it into my blogging self to feel more secure writing online is a hope. I'm thinking of the cascade effect, how a blossom in one area can spread to other areas...
Meditation is where I take a break from the overwhelming weight of my life.
Jean, I shall add 5 minutes a day of loving kindness meditation to my practice.
Brenda, I didn't think you were incoherent yesterday and thought what you shared was lovely.
Mary, so glad you've found a job you like the look of and very much hope it will prove congenial.
What surprises me about the loving kindness practice, I think, is that the silent rote repetition of words of goodwill to self and others actually do seem to slowly, slowly melt the heart and change the feelings - I would not have believed this and only got into doing it because my first meditation teachers (FWBO) teach a practice of daily alternation of mindfulness of breathing and loving kindness, so I did it as 'homework' for my first beginners' meditation course.
That's my experience, too, Jean, that the words can draw me into the loving-kindness. A big mistake to wait for the feeling to arise before expressing it -- as some ideologies of authenticity & sincerity would urge.
Brenda, I too found your comment yesterday easy to follow and utterly charming.
It's one of the distressing things about cyber-relationships -- people can and do disappear even more thoroughly and abruptly than IRL. I've been shocked by that a couple of times.
Happily consuming my virtual breakfast :-) Thanks Mary!
Jean, FWBO? (Friendly Western Buddhist Order? Fond Wistful Band of Ontologists? Fourth Way Brothers of Ouspensky?)
Okay, possibly I'm in a silly mood today. What did you put in those eggs, Mary?
Fondly Wistful Band of Ontologists would suit me down to the ground, but it's just Friends of the Western Buddhist Order (as opposed to WBO which denotes just the ones who're ordained) - aren't they all over the US too?
Oh, I have a book by someone in that outfit. I think of them as British, but maybe just because that author is British. There was something a little... what? cloying? about the book. "Meeting the Buddhas" it was called, and it kept echoing in my head as "Meet the Beatles!"
Mary, I hope this job works out in the way that you like, providing you the balance you are seeking. That was an absolutely lovely greeting you left for us all this morning. And thank you for making Dale his virtual breakfast, he seems to be doing a bit better, at least I think I can hear his sense of humor bouncing back. Dale, I hope this is true, at least for a moment's reprieve!
Brenda, I had the same reaction as the others. Your message didn't sound incoherent at all to me.
Jean, I think you are on to something. It interests me that visualization is being used more and more in various fields as a learning tool, and, correctly or not, I think of the loving kindness practice as being somewhat analogous.
10 Comments:
Sorry this is late today. I never switch on the computer before I go to work, as this would frequently precipitate the scenario so eloquently described by Dale yesterday.
Hello everyone
Before I say anything else, lots of love and virtual hugs all round after yesterday. Don't want to single anyone out .. everyone's included. And a special hug too for anyone who doesn't comment and feels they need it.
I kept my chanting and meditation commitment yesterday morning and evening and again this morning. Feels good and I'm happy to be more on track again.
The other good news is that I was offered some work for the first part of March, which has possibilities for something more long term if both sides want this.I have two areas of work. One I love to do but pays practically nothing at the moment; the other is more stressful (office work) but pays more, and there is a lot to be said for an income. Getting the balance is an ongoing challenge.
Loving kindness, I have glimpses of it occasionally .. easier to apply to others than to myself. Coincidentally I'm writing a post for my blog about it which will probably go up some time over the weekend. Too long for here.
Off to the kitchen now to whip up a virtual breakfast for Dale .:-)
Last night I left a nearly incoherent comment, and am not sure why I do that.
My blog identity has been in crisis since last Summer, and I waver trying to feel like I belong and disappearing off into other communities, where I would struggle with all the same issues without resolving them.
It has to do with the relationship to the muse. What else could it be? I went about 5 years without a relationship and could easily have chosen the spiritual path many of my single women friends in their 50s have who have decided to remain alone. My New Year's resolution in 2005 was to enter a relationship. By mid-year I was deeply into a cyber love affair with a fellow blogger who ultimately disappeared. It left me shaken, insecure in my writerly voice, unsure about the identities we present on-line, who I am or what I'm doing here.
I did, by year's end, just squeak in to the "have a relationship/get over the fears' with a man who decided we should have a relationship, and has held to that. He's 7 years younger and I told him to stop being silly and go away, but he didn't. He's a professor, and quite brilliant, and, seems to be a kind-hearted, generous person.
When I got on the subway and went in the wrong direction yesterday I was almost ecstatic. Not just about the bliss of falling in love, which is healthy and beautiful. It means somewhere inside I've healed enough to feel deeply again and to trust.
Whether I can gather that beautiful energy and bring it into my blogging self to feel more secure writing online is a hope. I'm thinking of the cascade effect, how a blossom in one area can spread to other areas...
Meditation is where I take a break from the overwhelming weight of my life.
Jean, I shall add 5 minutes a day of loving kindness meditation to my practice.
Love to all.
Brenda, I didn't think you were incoherent yesterday and thought what you shared was lovely.
Mary, so glad you've found a job you like the look of and very much hope it will prove congenial.
What surprises me about the loving kindness practice, I think, is that the silent rote repetition of words of goodwill to self and others actually do seem to slowly, slowly melt the heart and change the feelings - I would not have believed this and only got into doing it because my first meditation teachers (FWBO) teach a practice of daily alternation of mindfulness of breathing and loving kindness, so I did it as 'homework' for my first beginners' meditation course.
That's my experience, too, Jean, that the words can draw me into the loving-kindness. A big mistake to wait for the feeling to arise before expressing it -- as some ideologies of authenticity & sincerity would urge.
Brenda, I too found your comment yesterday easy to follow and utterly charming.
It's one of the distressing things about cyber-relationships -- people can and do disappear even more thoroughly and abruptly than IRL. I've been shocked by that a couple of times.
Happily consuming my virtual breakfast :-) Thanks Mary!
Jean, FWBO? (Friendly Western Buddhist Order? Fond Wistful Band of Ontologists? Fourth Way Brothers of Ouspensky?)
Okay, possibly I'm in a silly mood today. What did you put in those eggs, Mary?
Fondly Wistful Band of Ontologists would suit me down to the ground, but it's just Friends of the Western Buddhist Order (as opposed to WBO which denotes just the ones who're ordained) - aren't they all over the US too?
Oh, I have a book by someone in that outfit. I think of them as British, but maybe just because that author is British. There was something a little... what? cloying? about the book. "Meeting the Buddhas" it was called, and it kept echoing in my head as "Meet the Beatles!"
I'm a bad Buddhist, you know.
Mary, I hope this job works out in the way that you like, providing you the balance you are seeking. That was an absolutely lovely greeting you left for us all this morning. And thank you for making Dale his virtual breakfast, he seems to be doing a bit better, at least I think I can hear his sense of humor bouncing back. Dale, I hope this is true, at least for a moment's reprieve!
Brenda, I had the same reaction as the others. Your message didn't sound incoherent at all to me.
Jean, I think you are on to something. It interests me that visualization is being used more and more in various fields as a learning tool, and, correctly or not, I think of the loving kindness practice as being somewhat analogous.
Good night, everybody! Sweet dreams to all.
G'night, all.
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