Bookcrossing rocks Janice! Mary - do it, you'll love it.
I collected the very last of my belongings from my ex-home today. Yuk. Minus my bicycle, which has been stolen, and was really the only thing I wanted.
I did a 2 and a half hour 'driving meditation' on the way there. Traffic from hell. However, it did give me a chance to prepare myself for the encounter - only the second time I've seen her since we split. I think it paid off. I managed to be true to myself and what I was thinking and feeling without speaking so quickly that I wanted the power to unspeak!
I also didn't say anything unhelpful or unkind. I didn't need to - our dog, who hasn't seen her in almost four months, did more guilt tripping than I could ever have managed. The dog greeted our lodger, his girlfriend and his friend joyfully, and completely ignored my ex. When she was summoned she hid behind the sofa, then crawled there and shook whilst she was petted. I have no idea what she was thinking but she made it clear that she was NOT happy with her ex-mum.
A friend who was supposed to be providing moral support bailed on me at the last moment, so I had to tackle it on my own, and then come home to an empty house, knowing that all my friends are at the house-leaving party of my ex-flat ... it all feels a bit difficult, but the dog is definitely on my side, which helps!
All very day-at-a-time here at the moment. Monday is the funeral of my friend, which will be rough I imagine. But tomorrow is filled with Football Meditation ... (Translation: Soccer).
Love to all ... hope you're having a wonderful time on the retreat Jean!
Hi everyone, I've been very absent and have missed most of the last month. I just caught up with the last couple of days -
Dale I am also THRILLED you are moving on. I feel the world takes a step with you.
Jean, I would love to go to an anger meditation. Do tell! It's still the main issue for me - his and mine!
Beth, Good luck and lots of love this weekend.
Stray, you sound like you are dealing great in a very painful situation. I like the idea of not speaking so quickly, like not eating too quickly.
..;and evryone else. It's good to be back.
I just sat 'properly' for the first time in a month. I have grabbed the odd coach or beach or rehearsal moment, but i find being on tour very hard. I know to sit on tour regularly would help be be more centred, but it is an ongoing process.
I am home now and J and I just dealing with sorting out our threads. Alot going on for him helping his aged and ailing parents moving, and having been alone for so long, and for me having been away...we still seem to fall into anger more easily than feeling our disappointment and sadness, and therfore intimacy. It's a long road.
Big changed tho' for me. I have committed to going on an Arvon writing course in November and am taking - finally - the first steps to starting my own festival of music in the vines. I am sick of following other people's (often extremely egocentric) gestures. It feels very exciting and that I have turned the corner and am moving back towards home. I am sure meditation had helped me come to this point - listen and be still enough to hear my creative voice calling. i'm still here!
3 Comments:
Bookcrossing rocks Janice! Mary - do it, you'll love it.
I collected the very last of my belongings from my ex-home today. Yuk. Minus my bicycle, which has been stolen, and was really the only thing I wanted.
I did a 2 and a half hour 'driving meditation' on the way there. Traffic from hell. However, it did give me a chance to prepare myself for the encounter - only the second time I've seen her since we split. I think it paid off. I managed to be true to myself and what I was thinking and feeling without speaking so quickly that I wanted the power to unspeak!
I also didn't say anything unhelpful or unkind. I didn't need to - our dog, who hasn't seen her in almost four months, did more guilt tripping than I could ever have managed. The dog greeted our lodger, his girlfriend and his friend joyfully, and completely ignored my ex. When she was summoned she hid behind the sofa, then crawled there and shook whilst she was petted. I have no idea what she was thinking but she made it clear that she was NOT happy with her ex-mum.
A friend who was supposed to be providing moral support bailed on me at the last moment, so I had to tackle it on my own, and then come home to an empty house, knowing that all my friends are at the house-leaving party of my ex-flat ... it all feels a bit difficult, but the dog is definitely on my side, which helps!
All very day-at-a-time here at the moment. Monday is the funeral of my friend, which will be rough I imagine. But tomorrow is filled with Football Meditation ... (Translation: Soccer).
Love to all ... hope you're having a wonderful time on the retreat Jean!
xx
Oh, Stray! Your bicycle too? But I'm so glad you got through that so well. It must be a relief to have that done with.
Thinking of you. And of you, Beth.
Hi everyone, I've been very absent and have missed most of the last month. I just caught up with the last couple of days -
Dale I am also THRILLED you are moving on. I feel the world takes a step with you.
Jean, I would love to go to an anger meditation. Do tell! It's still the main issue for me - his and mine!
Beth, Good luck and lots of love this weekend.
Stray, you sound like you are dealing great in a very painful situation. I like the idea of not speaking so quickly, like not eating too quickly.
..;and evryone else. It's good to be back.
I just sat 'properly' for the first time in a month. I have grabbed the odd coach or beach or rehearsal moment, but i find being on tour very hard. I know to sit on tour regularly would help be be more centred, but it is an ongoing process.
I am home now and J and I just dealing with sorting out our threads. Alot going on for him helping his aged and ailing parents moving, and having been alone for so long, and for me having been away...we still seem to fall into anger more easily than feeling our disappointment and sadness, and therfore intimacy. It's a long road.
Big changed tho' for me. I have committed to going on an Arvon writing course in November and am taking - finally - the first steps to starting my own festival of music in the vines. I am sick of following other people's (often extremely egocentric) gestures. It feels very exciting and that I have turned the corner and am moving back towards home. I am sure meditation had helped me come to this point - listen and be still enough to hear my creative voice calling. i'm still here!
Love to all of you.
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