Sat this morning, thanks largely to having connected with this blog again.
I don't know what it is about work stress (as opposed to other types, relationships etc) but it can throw me off balance more quickly than anything .... financial insecurity, relationship with authority figures, in my case resentment at feeling I have to do a job I really don't want to do, silly deadlines, my own desire to do the best job possible - all mixed together in an unhealthy cocktail which can undermine my well being and my meditation commitment so easily.
Anyway, it felt good to sit for 10 minutes this morning, listen to the birds and passing cars and to be still with my breath. And that's all there is. Wishing everyone else a peaceful day.
I acutely identify with much of what you describe, Mary!
Love and solidarity to all suffering a surfeit of the least fulfilling aspects of work :-)
Nice quotation from a lovely meditation website (http://www.opendharma.org/ ): "Meditation is not a technique and cannot be practiced. We use several techniques to help us go beyond technique into the natural spaciousness of real meditation."
I could do with some spaciousness! Late at night, close to midnight, it was realized that a hunk of milk chocolate had disappeared, most likely into our dog. Many tears, me resisting the arguing unsuccessfully, me checking the NET, estimating perhaps 8 - 10 ounces at most, at 1 ounce per pound for the poison to be drastic, and she's about 40 lbs, she wasn't going to die. Then a complete halycon, hours and hours of emotional turmoil, until finally I broke down and cried too. What we do to each other! All told I perhaps got an hour's sleep and am at a temp job today and tutoring tonight and I only want to be home to hold my babies, child and doggie. They're fine, just waking up. But...
I wish I could see when the storms are coming...
Sometimes sensitivities are raw, and the sense of self most fragile, and that is when you need to be the most nurturing and the most careful and when you least need a potential disaster.
We do our best, don't we. Life is all too often a rocky, tumultuous affair. I remind myself to just keep loving...
Oh, Brenda, I can certainly sympathize with what you write - and how those emotional storms come up so quickly, without warning sometimes.
In spite of a huge workload, I am pretty calm right now - don't know why, but I'll take it! Yesterday I sat for a few minutes at the end of the afternoon and will do so again today; I'm trying to do better about it ;)
Also, the wife of a friend and colleague died yesterday morning at age 50 or so; she had pancreatic cancer, like several other members of her family, and it progressed very fast. It is an unwelcome and very sad reminder of our mortality, but also a reminder to treasure each day and each other.
Gosh, that was traumatic - nearly two days without you all! I posted Day 76 this morning, but it seems still not to be viewable - perhaps the problem is only partly solved as yet. Hugs all round. I did miss you!
6 Comments:
Patry, welcome back!!!
Sat this morning, thanks largely to having connected with this blog again.
I don't know what it is about work stress (as opposed to other types, relationships etc) but it can throw me off balance more quickly than anything .... financial insecurity, relationship with authority figures, in my case resentment at feeling I have to do a job I really don't want to do, silly deadlines, my own desire to do the best job possible - all mixed together in an unhealthy cocktail which can undermine my well being and my meditation commitment so easily.
Anyway, it felt good to sit for 10 minutes this morning, listen to the birds and passing cars and to be still with my breath. And that's all there is. Wishing everyone else a peaceful day.
I acutely identify with much of what you describe, Mary!
Love and solidarity to all suffering a surfeit of the least fulfilling aspects of work :-)
Nice quotation from a lovely meditation website (http://www.opendharma.org/ ): "Meditation is not a technique and cannot be practiced. We use several techniques to help us go beyond technique into the natural spaciousness of real meditation."
I could do with some spaciousness! Late at night, close to midnight, it was realized that a hunk of milk chocolate had disappeared, most likely into our dog. Many tears, me resisting the arguing unsuccessfully, me checking the NET, estimating perhaps 8 - 10 ounces at most, at 1 ounce per pound for the poison to be drastic, and she's about 40 lbs, she wasn't going to die. Then a complete halycon, hours and hours of emotional turmoil, until finally I broke down and cried too. What we do to each other! All told I perhaps got an hour's sleep and am at a temp job today and tutoring tonight and I only want to be home to hold my babies, child and doggie. They're fine, just waking up. But...
I wish I could see when the storms are coming...
Sometimes sensitivities are raw, and the sense of self most fragile, and that is when you need to be the most nurturing and the most careful and when you least need a potential disaster.
We do our best, don't we. Life is all too often a rocky, tumultuous affair. I remind myself to just keep loving...
Oh, Brenda, I can certainly sympathize with what you write - and how those emotional storms come up so quickly, without warning sometimes.
In spite of a huge workload, I am pretty calm right now - don't know why, but I'll take it! Yesterday I sat for a few minutes at the end of the afternoon and will do so again today; I'm trying to do better about it ;)
Also, the wife of a friend and colleague died yesterday morning at age 50 or so; she had pancreatic cancer, like several other members of her family, and it progressed very fast. It is an unwelcome and very sad reminder of our mortality, but also a reminder to treasure each day and each other.
Gosh, that was traumatic - nearly two days without you all! I posted Day 76 this morning, but it seems still not to be viewable - perhaps the problem is only partly solved as yet. Hugs all round. I did miss you!
Jean, Dale once said that reposting seemed to smooth things out... can you try that? (At least that's what I think I remember he said.)
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