Somehow I got through it, two and a half hours. The first half hour the easiest, it got progressively difficult after that. Both boredom and an inability to settle my emotions were causing turmoil as I pushed through, my breath slower and slower, intoning the mantra, finally finishing on determination alone. That last half hour, usually the easiest, was exactly the opposite, and I have to admit I wanted to shout into the empty house I was so frustrated with the unbearable difficulty the meditation had become. Finally the time was reached, laps done, in my tradition we hold our breath for about 10 seconds to conclude but I held it for as long as I could, at last finding deep inner silence in those moments. Then I gently released. It was like giving birth, I'm happy to say, and all the pain and difficulty and turmoil was gone. For the first time in weeks I felt clear-headed, open-hearted, fresh and free. Even though it's overcast and raining, this morning feels golden and flowing with the iridescent raiment of life itself...
Have kept going, much more teeth-cleaning than normal. All my energy seems to be going into my writing. However, I believe it is a good practice for creativity. Today I meditated on the sound of the mistral practically blowing our house down.
noticed I can even bear the sound of the formula one racing in the house these days. Could this be a bi-product?
I am rehashing some old writing material from 2 years ago, and I do believe I have become more at peace with the world since then.
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Somehow I got through it, two and a half hours. The first half hour the easiest, it got progressively difficult after that. Both boredom and an inability to settle my emotions were causing turmoil as I pushed through, my breath slower and slower, intoning the mantra, finally finishing on determination alone. That last half hour, usually the easiest, was exactly the opposite, and I have to admit I wanted to shout into the empty house I was so frustrated with the unbearable difficulty the meditation had become. Finally the time was reached, laps done, in my tradition we hold our breath for about 10 seconds to conclude but I held it for as long as I could, at last finding deep inner silence in those moments. Then I gently released. It was like giving birth, I'm happy to say, and all the pain and difficulty and turmoil was gone. For the first time in weeks I felt clear-headed, open-hearted, fresh and free. Even though it's overcast and raining, this morning feels golden and flowing with the iridescent raiment of life itself...
nice one brenda.
jude I am totally Green.
Have kept going, much more teeth-cleaning than normal. All my energy seems to be going into my writing. However, I believe it is a good practice for creativity. Today I meditated on the sound of the mistral practically blowing our house down.
noticed I can even bear the sound of the formula one racing in the house these days. Could this be a bi-product?
I am rehashing some old writing material from 2 years ago, and I do believe I have become more at peace with the world since then.
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