Hell, if there's anything I know about, it's repairing commitments. You've come to the right shop.
1. Look at why you didn't keep it. Don't blame yourself for not keeping it -- that's just a distraction. Just try to understand the whole mechanics of it. Where was the earliest place you could have intervened to change the course of events? Where's the point of greatest leverage? By the time you're struggling to force yourself to do something, the prime time for intervention is usually long past.
2. Is the commitment you've made really reasonable? Maybe you have perfectly good reasons for not keeping it. Don't assume that the self who chose not to keep the commitment was necessarily stupider than the self who made it.
3. Don't remake the commitment until you're confident you understand why you didn't keep it and how you can keep it next time. Make it a smaller commitment if you need to. Breaking a commitment over and over is really demoralizing -- you want to avoid it if you can.
Maybe I've managed to repair my commitment myself, though. Locked myself in my office and sat for 15 minutes after lunch. Not reduced to the bathroom - just as well, as we are short of those and there's always a queue.
Until I'm absolutely sure I can get up in time every morning, I think I need to be very clear that the commitment is to at least 15 minutes every day, not to a particular time, so that I don't lapse into 'failed again' whenever I don't manage it first thing on waking up.
walked thismorning with my mind like fermenting grapes stinkily squishing all over the place so tried to repair my commitment by mindful log pile making because the logs arrived just as i was sitting down to meditate but just ended up resenting the logs for interfering... more reparation needed so sat, but every time i got a glimpse of a quiet mind i grasped at it. only now, playing a slow scale, did i experience something resembling awareness. maybe the rest was merely preparation for the mindful E flat major scale? needs a fair amount of patience this lark!
Ruth, it sounds like your meditation is perfect and no reparation due. I'd define awareness as noticing what your mind is doing, not having a quiet mind the whole time (does anybody have that?).
Thanks for starting my day with a laugh, Dale. Repair shop, indeed!
And thank you all very much for your warm welcomes.
I sat for 10 minutes last evening while dinner finished cooking. I need to try a new time. I was chuckling to myself as I watched my mind jerk its little head upward at the dog nosing my hand, thumps on the stairs, the laughing girl, the laugh track through the wall... Oy! Or maybe I need to try the bathroom??
It's been a rough couple of days, meditation-wise. I collected my first "big" batch of student papers last week, so that basically reinforces every procrastinative impulse in my being: I don't want to read papers, I don't want to meditate, I basically don't want to NUTHIN'.
Sooo, some commitment repair is necessary. I'm with Jean: since I can't guarantee I'll sit first thing in the morning, I need to vow to sit *sometime* during the day. This morning I was rushing around prepping for class, so I'm committing to sit at least 10 minutes sometime this afternoon/tonight. More would be great...but 10 minutes is something I can keep.
Okay, I sat my 10 minutes. I wanted to sit for 15 but was too damn sleepy. I have an afternoon break from teaching on Tuesdays & Wednesdays, but my energy level is usually very low then. So although I "should" be able to sit then, it's difficult to find the energy.
8 Comments:
Hell, if there's anything I know about, it's repairing commitments. You've come to the right shop.
1. Look at why you didn't keep it. Don't blame yourself for not keeping it -- that's just a distraction. Just try to understand the whole mechanics of it. Where was the earliest place you could have intervened to change the course of events? Where's the point of greatest leverage? By the time you're struggling to force yourself to do something, the prime time for intervention is usually long past.
2. Is the commitment you've made really reasonable? Maybe you have perfectly good reasons for not keeping it. Don't assume that the self who chose not to keep the commitment was necessarily stupider than the self who made it.
3. Don't remake the commitment until you're confident you understand why you didn't keep it and how you can keep it next time. Make it a smaller commitment if you need to. Breaking a commitment over and over is really demoralizing -- you want to avoid it if you can.
Giggling :-)
Maybe I've managed to repair my commitment myself, though. Locked myself in my office and sat for 15 minutes after lunch. Not reduced to the bathroom - just as well, as we are short of those and there's always a queue.
Until I'm absolutely sure I can get up in time every morning, I think I need to be very clear that the commitment is to at least 15 minutes every day, not to a particular time, so that I don't lapse into 'failed again' whenever I don't manage it first thing on waking up.
walked thismorning with my mind like fermenting grapes stinkily squishing all over the place so tried to repair my commitment by mindful log pile making because the logs arrived just as i was sitting down to meditate but just ended up resenting the logs for interfering... more reparation needed so sat, but every time i got a glimpse of a quiet mind i grasped at it. only now, playing a slow scale, did i experience something resembling awareness. maybe the rest was merely preparation for the mindful E flat major scale? needs a fair amount of patience this lark!
Ruth, it sounds like your meditation is perfect and no reparation due. I'd define awareness as noticing what your mind is doing, not having a quiet mind the whole time (does anybody have that?).
Thanks for starting my day with a laugh, Dale. Repair shop, indeed!
And thank you all very much for your warm welcomes.
I sat for 10 minutes last evening while dinner finished cooking. I need to try a new time. I was chuckling to myself as I watched my mind jerk its little head upward at the dog nosing my hand, thumps on the stairs, the laughing girl, the laugh track through the wall... Oy! Or maybe I need to try the bathroom??
Oh, yes, Dale...thanks for the giggle.
It's been a rough couple of days, meditation-wise. I collected my first "big" batch of student papers last week, so that basically reinforces every procrastinative impulse in my being: I don't want to read papers, I don't want to meditate, I basically don't want to NUTHIN'.
Sooo, some commitment repair is necessary. I'm with Jean: since I can't guarantee I'll sit first thing in the morning, I need to vow to sit *sometime* during the day. This morning I was rushing around prepping for class, so I'm committing to sit at least 10 minutes sometime this afternoon/tonight. More would be great...but 10 minutes is something I can keep.
Okay, I sat my 10 minutes. I wanted to sit for 15 but was too damn sleepy. I have an afternoon break from teaching on Tuesdays & Wednesdays, but my energy level is usually very low then. So although I "should" be able to sit then, it's difficult to find the energy.
But I'm still trying...
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