Hugs to Dale: I can't imagine how odd & disorienting this life transition must be! It strikes me that even positive life changes can be very stressful, so please be gentle with yourself, okay? It takes a looooong time (as this blog testifies!) to re-learn old, bad habits & establish good, healthy new ones.
Wow, thanks Beth, Jean and Lorianne for the really helpful and honest stuff about FBS and associated syndromes.
Dale, Lorianne hits it right on the head there - even the most positive changes are unsettling ... though what a lovely transition to be focussed on accepting!
I've got major FBS today. Wrote about it and then deleted it. Ain't that the definition of FBS ...
Thank you for visiting with us again dale. as far as I am concerned you are always with us and I am sending you so much love in your transition. Your courage is awe inspiring.
What a fascinating discussion. FBS I have mega mega when I feel criticised. again this is to do with accepting my imperfection. I also think I spent most of my childhood in that state so , now I have 'come out' of it, I use withdrawal as a sort of 'threat' (to myself? others?) to withdraw once more: "You made me come out. Now look what you've done. You don't like it? I'm going right back in and I'm never coming out again." Like Jean, i think meditation is a wonderful antidote as it embraces imperfection; stays with it and is the opposite of withdrawal.
Am in Chimay playing wonderful music and having very full, hard working fun days. managed to find time to sit though.
Thinking (or not) about the connections between giving and receiving/ taking/ letting go. At one point in my meditation I felt really clearly that giving was just a natural, almost 'inactive' state, just like breathing out. In a way it is only clinging that makes us think we have something to 'give'. It was very lovely , particularly in respect of music.
I've been trying something new and decidedly unperfectionist with my practice of late. Instructions from my teacher for teenagers are 10 minutes of anapana meditation (observing respiration) in the morning and evening, with a couple minutes of metta at each sit as well. (For adults the instruction is an hour of vipassana - observing sensation - for huor in the morning and in the evening each day).
I've struggled with the adult instruction for years, committing, resisting, doing it, not doing it. Then I served on a weekend long course that introduced teenagers to meditation, and really focused in on the purpose of anapana - building discipline, focus, concentration.
And let go of doing it right. I committed to the teen instructions from then (a month or two ago), until my own 10-day retreat in January. And I've been doing it - almost every morning and evening. Effortlessly. Sometimes I start to get ahead of myself and ask what I'll do in January, and then I remind myself that right now it's October, and I don't need to know about January yet.
And I'm noticing a difference in my daily life. I'm getting much clearer about the choice I often face: letting my life (work, friends, family, "obligations") dominate me; or letting my resistance and avoidance of these things dominate me. It's always going to be one or the other. I'm choosing life more often.
Which is a good reminder - back to work for me. Because that's where I am right now. Thanks for the space to take a break and a breather.
5 Comments:
Hugs to Dale: I can't imagine how odd & disorienting this life transition must be! It strikes me that even positive life changes can be very stressful, so please be gentle with yourself, okay? It takes a looooong time (as this blog testifies!) to re-learn old, bad habits & establish good, healthy new ones.
Wow, thanks Beth, Jean and Lorianne for the really helpful and honest stuff about FBS and associated syndromes.
Dale, Lorianne hits it right on the head there - even the most positive changes are unsettling ... though what a lovely transition to be focussed on accepting!
I've got major FBS today. Wrote about it and then deleted it. Ain't that the definition of FBS ...
hugs all xx
Thank you for visiting with us again dale. as far as I am concerned you are always with us and I am sending you so much love in your transition. Your courage is awe inspiring.
What a fascinating discussion. FBS I have mega mega when I feel criticised. again this is to do with accepting my imperfection. I also think I spent most of my childhood in that state so , now I have 'come out' of it, I use withdrawal as a sort of 'threat' (to myself? others?) to withdraw once more: "You made me come out. Now look what you've done. You don't like it? I'm going right back in and I'm never coming out again." Like Jean, i think meditation is a wonderful antidote as it embraces imperfection; stays with it and is the opposite of withdrawal.
Am in Chimay playing wonderful music and having very full, hard working fun days. managed to find time to sit though.
Thinking (or not) about the connections between giving and receiving/ taking/ letting go. At one point in my meditation I felt really clearly that giving was just a natural, almost 'inactive' state, just like breathing out. In a way it is only clinging that makes us think we have something to 'give'. It was very lovely , particularly in respect of music.
Love to all.
I've been trying something new and decidedly unperfectionist with my practice of late. Instructions from my teacher for teenagers are 10 minutes of anapana meditation (observing respiration) in the morning and evening, with a couple minutes of metta at each sit as well. (For adults the instruction is an hour of vipassana - observing sensation - for huor in the morning and in the evening each day).
I've struggled with the adult instruction for years, committing, resisting, doing it, not doing it. Then I served on a weekend long course that introduced teenagers to meditation, and really focused in on the purpose of anapana - building discipline, focus, concentration.
And let go of doing it right. I committed to the teen instructions from then (a month or two ago), until my own 10-day retreat in January. And I've been doing it - almost every morning and evening. Effortlessly. Sometimes I start to get ahead of myself and ask what I'll do in January, and then I remind myself that right now it's October, and I don't need to know about January yet.
And I'm noticing a difference in my daily life. I'm getting much clearer about the choice I often face: letting my life (work, friends, family, "obligations") dominate me; or letting my resistance and avoidance of these things dominate me. It's always going to be one or the other. I'm choosing life more often.
Which is a good reminder - back to work for me. Because that's where I am right now. Thanks for the space to take a break and a breather.
The last few days of discussions here have been fascinating and inspiring. "FBS" - marvellous, this one will run (or roll?)
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