Yesterday was hard, but okay. Surprisingly, I came home and slept better than for ages. It's a sobering thought that grief, so much feared and veered away from, is in many ways not as bad as my usual generalised feeling of anxious resistance to life. If I ever get to erode the latter at all, by constant practice of bringing attention back to the avoided feelings, it all will have been worth it.
Glad you got through it ok Jean. Perhaps it's something about the scale of things that we simply can't run / hide from ... allowing us to experience fully and stop battling to control our feelings ... ?
I know everyone experiences things differently, but I think Stray's onto something as far as I'm concerned. I know grief is going to be really hard, so I'm much more conscious of letting it just wash over me and I struggle less.
Jean, I'm glad to hear it was okay, and that you slept better.
Yes, an acupuncturist/teacher once told me "the more you struggle against things, the more painful they are" - it's so obvious, but so hard to remember. i had a bad afternoon yerterday, and felt like I was going to really lose my equilibrium and temper. Finally, around 8:00 pm, I just laid down and went to sleep, and when I woke up, at 11:00, felt much better. I think I was simply exhausted.
Jean, I wonder if you could elaborate on what you mean exactly by "generalised feeling of anxious resistance to life." This sounds different to me than simply saying you feel "anxious" - or no?
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Yesterday was hard, but okay. Surprisingly, I came home and slept better than for ages. It's a sobering thought that grief, so much feared and veered away from, is in many ways not as bad as my usual generalised feeling of anxious resistance to life. If I ever get to erode the latter at all, by constant practice of bringing attention back to the avoided feelings, it all will have been worth it.
Glad you got through it ok Jean. Perhaps it's something about the scale of things that we simply can't run / hide from ... allowing us to experience fully and stop battling to control our feelings ... ?
hugs, xx
I know everyone experiences things differently, but I think Stray's onto something as far as I'm concerned. I know grief is going to be really hard, so I'm much more conscious of letting it just wash over me and I struggle less.
Jean, I'm glad to hear it was okay, and that you slept better.
As one of my teachers said, resistance to the pain just compounds the anguish. Hard to remember when you're in the middle of it.
Yes, an acupuncturist/teacher once told me "the more you struggle against things, the more painful they are" - it's so obvious, but so hard to remember. i had a bad afternoon yerterday, and felt like I was going to really lose my equilibrium and temper. Finally, around 8:00 pm, I just laid down and went to sleep, and when I woke up, at 11:00, felt much better. I think I was simply exhausted.
Jean, I wonder if you could elaborate on what you mean exactly by "generalised feeling of anxious resistance to life." This sounds different to me than simply saying you feel "anxious" - or no?
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