Well, perhaps the damage between us had been done and it was to late to repair, but i certainly felt different in last night's performance as I watched her throw her hair around and waggle her eyebrows in every direction but the music's. Much less angry and more compassionate. has to be the way to go!
..and yes, the music is, in some sense, indstructable and true. always, though people try pretty hard to make their personalities pore important than it.
Thought you would like to know today posted from an internet connection on the high speed train between nantes and Avignon...
Wow! What a great place to post from ... places really - translated in location as you moved through your sentences.
I have giggled most un-respectfully through your descriptions of the predicament ... she is pretty much getting on my tits as well. I sympathise with your reaction ... and I wonder whether her drama hurts you because it makes you smaller? In the presence of people who's expression makes me uncomfortable I know I constrain my own.
It's amazing that you're finding compassion for her, and I'm thrilled for you that you're feeling less angry. Glad the music is surviving.
I found it hard to sit this morning. I simply can't stop my mind obsessing about a day that is over a week away. Decisions to be made, important, but don't need making right now. And I don't know whether this processing over and over every angle is necessary or ridiculous!
I am distracted too by mild physical discomfort and less mild emotional discomfort, though it has helped to hold you Jean, and others who are grieving now, in my mind. Scale. Proportion. I am struggling to find words for feelings today. Like squeezing soap. Perhaps later I will squeeze some real soap and see if that helps :)
yep smaller hits the nail on the head. Especially as I really believe in movement as an essential part of playing, but movement because one is 'moved' to make music, not because one wants to get the Oscar for hair waggling. Yes, I have often felt my movement restricted because of the space she takes up.
So will we be doing another group sit to mark the end of 100 days?
Ruth, there is something about posting from a high speed train that sounds.... hmm.... like it ought to affect the message somehow! I'm glad you were able to feel different last night — it's got to make a difference to you to be able to feel different.
Stray, incidentally, you don't have to stop your mind from obsessing (and you can't, anyway!)
When you realize you're obsessing, just gently return your mind to whatever or wherever you intended it to be. That's all you have to do, and all you can do. Yes, it will probably go right back to the week-from-now event. Which is just fine. Sooner or later you'll realize it again, and you'll return it. That's not bad meditation. It's perfect meditation. The point is not to make your mind do anything. It's just to become aware of what it's doing.
Eventually it may settle down and become quiet. Or it may not. That doesn't have anything to do with how "good" a meditator you are; it just has to do with how agitated you are.
All you have to do is bring it back when you realize it's gone. No more, no less. Meditation isn't something that starts when obsession ends. It's a way of exploring obssession, and loosening its grip on us.
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Well, perhaps the damage between us had been done and it was to late to repair, but i certainly felt different in last night's performance as I watched her throw her hair around and waggle her eyebrows in every direction but the music's. Much less angry and more compassionate. has to be the way to go!
..and yes, the music is, in some sense, indstructable and true. always, though people try pretty hard to make their personalities pore important than it.
Thought you would like to know today posted from an internet connection on the high speed train between nantes and Avignon...
Wow! What a great place to post from ... places really - translated in location as you moved through your sentences.
I have giggled most un-respectfully through your descriptions of the predicament ... she is pretty much getting on my tits as well. I sympathise with your reaction ... and I wonder whether her drama hurts you because it makes you smaller? In the presence of people who's expression makes me uncomfortable I know I constrain my own.
It's amazing that you're finding compassion for her, and I'm thrilled for you that you're feeling less angry. Glad the music is surviving.
I found it hard to sit this morning. I simply can't stop my mind obsessing about a day that is over a week away. Decisions to be made, important, but don't need making right now. And I don't know whether this processing over and over every angle is necessary or ridiculous!
I am distracted too by mild physical discomfort and less mild emotional discomfort, though it has helped to hold you Jean, and others who are grieving now, in my mind. Scale. Proportion. I am struggling to find words for feelings today. Like squeezing soap. Perhaps later I will squeeze some real soap and see if that helps :)
Take care all, xx
yep smaller hits the nail on the head. Especially as I really believe in movement as an essential part of playing, but movement because one is 'moved' to make music, not because one wants to get the Oscar for hair waggling. Yes, I have often felt my movement restricted because of the space she takes up.
Soap away stray!
So will we be doing another group sit to mark the end of 100 days?
Ruth, there is something about posting from a high speed train that sounds.... hmm.... like it ought to affect the message somehow! I'm glad you were able to feel different last night — it's got to make a difference to you to be able to feel different.
Jean, still holding you in my thoughts and heart.
Stray, "like squeezing soap" — good one.
Brenda, wishing you fortitude and ease.
Love to all.
Stray, incidentally, you don't have to stop your mind from obsessing (and you can't, anyway!)
When you realize you're obsessing, just gently return your mind to whatever or wherever you intended it to be. That's all you have to do, and all you can do. Yes, it will probably go right back to the week-from-now event. Which is just fine. Sooner or later you'll realize it again, and you'll return it. That's not bad meditation. It's perfect meditation. The point is not to make your mind do anything. It's just to become aware of what it's doing.
Eventually it may settle down and become quiet. Or it may not. That doesn't have anything to do with how "good" a meditator you are; it just has to do with how agitated you are.
All you have to do is bring it back when you realize it's gone. No more, no less. Meditation isn't something that starts when obsession ends. It's a way of exploring obssession, and loosening its grip on us.
Thanks Beth, and Mb! It's 2 days later and I'm still sore! Ack, good exercise.
Love to all.
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