Stray, Lovely post about changing patterns of behaviour at Jumping into Life http://kat.uprush.org/ (New Year Realizations).
Gosh, having experienced Surrey mud up close, I can vividly envisage your housemate falling face-down in it - poor thing! Even though I was quietly cursing the off-road cyclists who'd obviously been there before me and churned it up.
Two great links Jean! Thanks ... lots to contemplate :)
The changes I am making are just huge (to me) ... I feel like I am breathing underwater or walking on my hands. Breaking eternal habits of self-neglect and self-destruction. Seems almost impossible, but then the trick is to just. do. it. This morning I went to my doctors about a health problem I've had for over a decade ... after I finally saw an osteopath about it last week, and he ummed and drew breath and murmured about MRI scans and surgery and urgent referrals.
There was a student in the doctor's office. They tried not to show their incredulity that I've lived with this issue for 13 years (next month) and never mentioned it before. I just ... I don't know. I can only explain it as fear - easier to live with known discomfort than any unknown solution. Amazing ... the human capacity to not just tolerate horrible things, but deny them completely.
I feel like I am not me. It's very odd. But I guess the change is necessary! There is nothing remotely chrysalis like about it ... and it has made me realise the need for some sort of balance between breathing and letting go, and taking action to change things that aren't acceptable. Serenity prayer and all that.
Beth, lovely to see you :) And Nicole ... wow, what a lot of change! How's the culture shock?
4 Comments:
Stray,
Lovely post about changing patterns of behaviour at Jumping into Life
http://kat.uprush.org/
(New Year Realizations).
Gosh, having experienced Surrey mud up close, I can vividly envisage your housemate falling face-down in it - poor thing! Even though I was quietly cursing the off-road cyclists who'd obviously been there before me and churned it up.
He does mention meditation, but
ally just to make you all smile:
http://www.tiny.cc/rmqyG
Nicole, it's lovely to know you're still here.
Beth, thank you for the quiet asking.
Two great links Jean! Thanks ... lots to contemplate :)
The changes I am making are just huge (to me) ... I feel like I am breathing underwater or walking on my hands. Breaking eternal habits of self-neglect and self-destruction. Seems almost impossible, but then the trick is to just. do. it. This morning I went to my doctors about a health problem I've had for over a decade ... after I finally saw an osteopath about it last week, and he ummed and drew breath and murmured about MRI scans and surgery and urgent referrals.
There was a student in the doctor's office. They tried not to show their incredulity that I've lived with this issue for 13 years (next month) and never mentioned it before. I just ... I don't know. I can only explain it as fear - easier to live with known discomfort than any unknown solution. Amazing ... the human capacity to not just tolerate horrible things, but deny them completely.
I feel like I am not me. It's very odd. But I guess the change is necessary! There is nothing remotely chrysalis like about it ... and it has made me realise the need for some sort of balance between breathing and letting go, and taking action to change things that aren't acceptable. Serenity prayer and all that.
Beth, lovely to see you :) And Nicole ... wow, what a lot of change! How's the culture shock?
Sx
Lots of hugs and courage! and remember to be sceptical of doctors too!
I keep finding delicious and apposite things today, whilst procrastinating at work. Like this picture: http://www.tiny.cc/Ulpf7
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