3.07 am? Dale, I'm sorry you're not sleeping any better! I think my current feeling of depression hovering is mainly due to having become so overtired - maybe the same is true for you?
Sat for 20 minutes first thing this morning. I'm way out of touch with my motivation at present, but I'm doing it anyway because... well, because it's a commitment, I guess. The word commitment alarms me, I must admit, and I don't like being alarmed by a word.
I've been reading the online book John recommended and finding it useful - thanks!
Sat Wednesday and Thursday and this morning. Approx 10 minutes - can't/won't get beyond that at the moment.
Felt adrift away from home without my props. No altar, no Buddha (though i don't call myself a Buddhist), no candle, no incense. Just me, and a book of morning readings. And it was OK. But I will take a candle and matches with me tomorrow for my next short time away. The props and the ritual around them do help.
And I need a new Buddha statue - my old one is broken and won't stay mended. Can't find one I like, so I'm hoping it will find me.
Glad you're all still here. Yes I am a bit low as well, but I blame it on too high expectations around a relationship and a job change, and a general autumn melancholy .... don't know. But you all are pure positivity for me - whether you are down or up. Peace.
sat thismorning in yet another ghastly hotel room. felt like I'd slept in a truck the traffic was so loud!
you reminded me mary about the importance of bringing candles and incense and yes maybe even my lovely little buddha which found me trekking in nepal on tour with me.
Because of this practice I think in in concerts i am simply becoming more aware of when my mind wanders and it can be uncomfortable.
you sound very pro John. I had lot of little thoughts about what a sinking mind might be as I tried to pay attention to my breath...
Jean I think that since you posted at 3.53am according to this computer, perhaps it is merely the fact that dale is on another continent??? (and on another planet of course)
Ruth, no, I think we're all on IOT (Insomnia in Oregon Time) :-)
I've not got an altar/shrine at home, though I do have a tiny Nepalese buddha and a crystal on my computer at work, which mean a lot to me. Maybe this is the next thing, and would comfort and inspire me in times of flagging motivation. I'm still carrying around the tiny bag of sand from the sand mandala I saw dismantled back in July, so that's something for my shrine,
Good morning everybody. Dale, I hope you got some sleep!
I've been struggling with feelings of depression too, in the wake of what happened to me. I know this is a natural reaction, and feel a little better today. It really does help to come here and find you; everyone is struggling with something and we actually do help each other. I used my meditation time last night to listen to a symphony by Philip Glass and some other contemporary music. Today I will get back on the cushion, but that was the right thing to do yesterday.
John - I've experienced sinking mind, too, but I never knew it had a name, or even that it was considered undesireable. Thanks for explaining this.
Ruth - it's interesting that increasing awareness of distraction has carried over to your performing time. I find this increased awareness when not meditating somewhat disturbing, too, but also helpful in showing me what's going on - and it helps me be motivated to sit.
Mary and Jean - thinking of you and the autumn melancholy, which is pervasive here as well. I think this low period is temporary and will lift for all of us, with a change of season and some more sleep!
I hope everyone has a good day today. Let's all find something in it to rejoice about and share with each other later.
I was up at 3:00 this morning, but that's because I was happily excited about an unexpected 6:00 breakfast date (arranged about twelve hours ago) with a friend I don't get to see nearly enough of. So it was good insomnia this morning. Had a lovely breakfast and I'm very very happy.
(Ordinarily yes depression and insomnia correlate in my life, and I'm sure the causation runs both ways -- I'm not sure in which direction it runs more strongly.)
Sat twenty minutes last night, and was cranky afterwards. I don't personally find any day-to-day correspondence between meditating and being a happy or clear-minded. It's a longer-term operation than that. (Which is unfortunate, in some ways, because it takes a week or two of not meditating before my clarity and equanimity start eroding, so I don't get the immediate feedback that might otherwise keep me at it.)
Jean -- anything that helps, use it! The times of flagging motivation are when I most depend on having an inspiring teacher -- when it's just me I feel like the progress is so measly and I'm still such a confused mess that maybe it's pointless. It's a huge huge help to be able to go sit in a room with someone who really is calmer and clearer, and who claims anyway that meditation has something to do with it :-) That's really why I go to my center -- to spend some time with lama Michael and be reminded -- "oh yeah, that's why I do this. Because I'm hoping that someday I might be able to be in the world with *that* level of attentiveness and care and good humor."
7 Comments:
3.07 am? Dale, I'm sorry you're not sleeping any better! I think my current feeling of depression hovering is mainly due to having become so overtired - maybe the same is true for you?
Sat for 20 minutes first thing this morning. I'm way out of touch with my motivation at present, but I'm doing it anyway because... well, because it's a commitment, I guess. The word commitment alarms me, I must admit, and I don't like being alarmed by a word.
I've been reading the online book John recommended and finding it useful - thanks!
Sat Wednesday and Thursday and this morning. Approx 10 minutes - can't/won't get beyond that at the moment.
Felt adrift away from home without my props. No altar, no Buddha (though i don't call myself a Buddhist), no candle, no incense. Just me, and a book of morning readings. And it was OK. But I will take a candle and matches with me tomorrow for my next short time away. The props and the ritual around them do help.
And I need a new Buddha statue - my old one is broken and won't stay mended. Can't find one I like, so I'm hoping it will find me.
Glad you're all still here. Yes I am a bit low as well, but I blame it on too high expectations around a relationship and a job change, and a general autumn melancholy .... don't know. But you all are pure positivity for me - whether you are down or up. Peace.
sat thismorning in yet another ghastly hotel room. felt like I'd slept in a truck the traffic was so loud!
you reminded me mary about the importance of bringing candles and incense and yes maybe even my lovely little buddha which found me trekking in nepal on tour with me.
Because of this practice I think in in concerts i am simply becoming more aware of when my mind wanders and it can be uncomfortable.
you sound very pro John. I had lot of little thoughts about what a sinking mind might be as I tried to pay attention to my breath...
Jean I think that since you posted at 3.53am according to this computer, perhaps it is merely the fact that dale is on another continent??? (and on another planet of course)
back home to my mountain tonight.
Ruth, no, I think we're all on IOT (Insomnia in Oregon Time) :-)
I've not got an altar/shrine at home, though I do have a tiny Nepalese buddha and a crystal on my computer at work, which mean a lot to me. Maybe this is the next thing, and would comfort and inspire me in times of flagging motivation. I'm still carrying around the tiny bag of sand from the sand mandala I saw dismantled back in July, so that's something for my shrine,
Good morning everybody. Dale, I hope you got some sleep!
I've been struggling with feelings of depression too, in the wake of what happened to me. I know this is a natural reaction, and feel a little better today. It really does help to come here and find you; everyone is struggling with something and we actually do help each other. I used my meditation time last night to listen to a symphony by Philip Glass and some other contemporary music. Today I will get back on the cushion, but that was the right thing to do yesterday.
John - I've experienced sinking mind, too, but I never knew it had a name, or even that it was considered undesireable. Thanks for explaining this.
Ruth - it's interesting that increasing awareness of distraction has carried over to your performing time. I find this increased awareness when not meditating somewhat disturbing, too, but also helpful in showing me what's going on - and it helps me be motivated to sit.
Mary and Jean - thinking of you and the autumn melancholy, which is pervasive here as well. I think this low period is temporary and will lift for all of us, with a change of season and some more sleep!
I hope everyone has a good day today. Let's all find something in it to rejoice about and share with each other later.
I was up at 3:00 this morning, but that's because I was happily excited about an unexpected 6:00 breakfast date (arranged about twelve hours ago) with a friend I don't get to see nearly enough of. So it was good insomnia this morning. Had a lovely breakfast and I'm very very happy.
(Ordinarily yes depression and insomnia correlate in my life, and I'm sure the causation runs both ways -- I'm not sure in which direction it runs more strongly.)
Sat twenty minutes last night, and was cranky afterwards. I don't personally find any day-to-day correspondence between meditating and being a happy or clear-minded. It's a longer-term operation than that. (Which is unfortunate, in some ways, because it takes a week or two of not meditating before my clarity and equanimity start eroding, so I don't get the immediate feedback that might otherwise keep me at it.)
Jean -- anything that helps, use it! The times of flagging motivation are when I most depend on having an inspiring teacher -- when it's just me I feel like the progress is so measly and I'm still such a confused mess that maybe it's pointless. It's a huge huge help to be able to go sit in a room with someone who really is calmer and clearer, and who claims anyway that meditation has something to do with it :-) That's really why I go to my center -- to spend some time with lama Michael and be reminded -- "oh yeah, that's why I do this. Because I'm hoping that someday I might be able to be in the world with *that* level of attentiveness and care and good humor."
Of potential interest to we who are trying to cultivate and/or change habits:
new research on why changing habits is so hard.
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