sat for twenty mins yesterday and today. almost didn't cos feeling utterly beaten down by this project with no energy except to stare into space. however, sitting is indeed a positive alternative!
your support and wisdom keeps me going!
occasionally, when i get a glimpse of what feels like pure mind, my eyes under my lids seem to start to flutter, as if being blinded by an inner ligh! i know this sounds a bit holier than though and it only happens in fleeting moments, but I am interested to see if anyone else experiences this.
Sat for 15 minutes this morning. It was good, lovely, after a very hamster-mind start. As discussed yesterday I am finding the present time of uncertainty between jobs a bit disorienting and am trying to summon up a bit more disclipline in using my time more productively than I am at the moment.
Ruth, not sure about the fluttering, I do recall something similar but am not sure "where" I was when it happened, consciousness-wise.
Beth: very pleased to hear your excellent news from yesterday.
Hugs to you all - because EVERYONE needs a hug from time to time.
Good morning everyone! I am bone-weary today but very happy. Thank you for your good wishes, Brenda and Mary.
Ruth, hang in there. I sure hope that once you get into performances the joy of the music will take over. I haven't had that eye flutter but I do experience physical changes when I get into a deeper state of meditation, when it kind of "takes hold" - which doesn't always happen. there is a letting go, and a "warmth" in my shoulders and neck that signals this to me; I can't really describe in it. It feels like something I was formerly thinkign about, willing to happen, becomes automatic, like the body has stepped aside - but it is also very physical. I don't know. Can't find words.
Beth, I'm very glad indeed to hear your news. I've been biting my tongue to not ask.
Ruth, your sit yesterday sounds like a victory just for doing it. I do hope things settle out for you soon. No, I can't say I've experienced the fluttering. I have experienced times of profound oneness, but that may be different from what you are speaking of.
Mary, I find lack of structure delightful but sometimes challenging. I hope you find a balance you are comfortable with in your use of time.
Off to sit now, looking forward to tomorrow's group session.
Beth, hooray for the good news. And good for you for doing your best to stay mindfully present during a trying time.
Ruth, I've never felt the sort of eye flutter you describe, just the usual twitches & itches. :-) I was struck by the first paragraph of your comment, though. I think those times when you "almost don't" sit are the most valuable because they strength your resolve to *keep practicing*.
Meditating is fun when it feels good...but it stinks when you don't feel like meditating! But those times when you don't feel like it--and those times when it doesn't *feel* like you're "doing it right"--are just as efficacious as the times that feel warm & tranquil.
So the most important thing, I think, is to keep doing it whether it feels "productive" or not. So bravo, Ruth, for recovering from your "almost didn't" moment. That's exactly the sort of spirit we *all* need.
After several days of sitting but not doing bows, this morning I did 27 bows followed by 20 minutes sitting. Through trial & error, I'm finding it really works best for me to practice first thing, before I get waylaid by other stuff.
oh beth, I too have been not daring to ask. must have missed your comment yesterday (brief connections in hotels and on cold benches)so I am absolutelky thrilled and will raise a glass of plonk at dinner quietly to your health - and everyone's!
Lorianne, thanks for hint about 'deleted comments' ... didn't realize I had to be a 'blogger' and not an 'other' ... so I set up a blog
hmmm ...synchronized practice periods ... what a great idea ... 8 am here on the West Coast of Canada and 4 pm GMT ... see you there tomorrow
Jean, what time are you walking to and from work? I'd like to walk with you some days ... now that I've finally figured out the time zones. I'm guessing you'd be walking home around 5 pm your time
Well, I thought for some crazy reason that the group meditation was yesterday at 4pm GMT... so there I was in the car being driven towards London sitting in the passenger seat with my eyes closed being "with" everyone whilst attempting to ignore the children in the back and the radio in the front!
I realized while walking home furious from work this evening, that I was raging about a conversation that had not taken place, and which might never happen. What kind of foolishness is that? Ruth is right, it's so easy to pick up that little ball of negativism when it comes rolling towards your feet.
Enough. I'm very pleased to hear everyone's good news and lively moods. Congratulations to Beth in particular.
12 Comments:
sat for twenty mins yesterday and today. almost didn't cos feeling utterly beaten down by this project with no energy except to stare into space. however, sitting is indeed a positive alternative!
your support and wisdom keeps me going!
occasionally, when i get a glimpse of what feels like pure mind, my eyes under my lids seem to start to flutter, as if being blinded by an inner ligh! i know this sounds a bit holier than though and it only happens in fleeting moments, but I am interested to see if anyone else experiences this.
Sat for 15 minutes this morning. It was good, lovely, after a very hamster-mind start. As discussed yesterday I am finding the present time of uncertainty between jobs a bit disorienting and am trying to summon up a bit more disclipline in using my time more productively than I am at the moment.
Ruth, not sure about the fluttering, I do recall something similar but am not sure "where" I was when it happened, consciousness-wise.
Beth: very pleased to hear your excellent news from yesterday.
Hugs to you all - because EVERYONE needs a hug from time to time.
Good morning everyone! I am bone-weary today but very happy. Thank you for your good wishes, Brenda and Mary.
Ruth, hang in there. I sure hope that once you get into performances the joy of the music will take over. I haven't had that eye flutter but I do experience physical changes when I get into a deeper state of meditation, when it kind of "takes hold" - which doesn't always happen. there is a letting go, and a "warmth" in my shoulders and neck that signals this to me; I can't really describe in it. It feels like something I was formerly thinkign about, willing to happen, becomes automatic, like the body has stepped aside - but it is also very physical. I don't know. Can't find words.
Do we have a plan for the group-meditation?
Beth, the group meditation is at 4.00pm GMT tomorrow, Friday.
Beth, I'm very glad indeed to hear your news. I've been biting my tongue to not ask.
Ruth, your sit yesterday sounds like a victory just for doing it. I do hope things settle out for you soon. No, I can't say I've experienced the fluttering. I have experienced times of profound oneness, but that may be different from what you are speaking of.
Mary, I find lack of structure delightful but sometimes challenging. I hope you find a balance you are comfortable with in your use of time.
Off to sit now, looking forward to tomorrow's group session.
Beth, hooray for the good news. And good for you for doing your best to stay mindfully present during a trying time.
Ruth, I've never felt the sort of eye flutter you describe, just the usual twitches & itches. :-) I was struck by the first paragraph of your comment, though. I think those times when you "almost don't" sit are the most valuable because they strength your resolve to *keep practicing*.
Meditating is fun when it feels good...but it stinks when you don't feel like meditating! But those times when you don't feel like it--and those times when it doesn't *feel* like you're "doing it right"--are just as efficacious as the times that feel warm & tranquil.
So the most important thing, I think, is to keep doing it whether it feels "productive" or not. So bravo, Ruth, for recovering from your "almost didn't" moment. That's exactly the sort of spirit we *all* need.
After several days of sitting but not doing bows, this morning I did 27 bows followed by 20 minutes sitting. Through trial & error, I'm finding it really works best for me to practice first thing, before I get waylaid by other stuff.
oh beth, I too have been not daring to ask. must have missed your comment yesterday (brief connections in hotels and on cold benches)so I am absolutelky thrilled and will raise a glass of plonk at dinner quietly to your health - and everyone's!
Beth ... so happy to hear your news
Lorianne, thanks for hint about 'deleted comments' ... didn't realize I had to be a 'blogger' and not an 'other' ... so I set up a blog
hmmm ...synchronized practice periods ... what a great idea ... 8 am here on the West Coast of Canada and 4 pm GMT ... see you there tomorrow
Jean, what time are you walking to and from work? I'd like to walk with you some days ... now that I've finally figured out the time zones. I'm guessing you'd be walking home around 5 pm your time
Well, I thought for some crazy reason that the group meditation was yesterday at 4pm GMT... so there I was in the car being driven towards London sitting in the passenger seat with my eyes closed being "with" everyone whilst attempting to ignore the children in the back and the radio in the front!
I'm glad to have another chance tomorrow.
I realized while walking home furious from work this evening, that I was raging about a conversation that had not taken place, and which might never happen. What kind of foolishness is that? Ruth is right, it's so easy to pick up that little ball of negativism when it comes rolling towards your feet.
Enough. I'm very pleased to hear everyone's good news and lively moods. Congratulations to Beth in particular.
udge, you are so funny -:)
For me tomorrow at 11am (EST- someone straighten me out if I'm off), wherever I am!
Looking forward to being with everyone!
Thanks so much for the good wishes, everyone.
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