Yesterday I sat for an hour in the morning, which was wonderful, although I felt tired and vague. Then spent the rest of the daylight hours shopping and returned home feeling destroyed, jumpy, unable to rest or sleep - ugh, ugh, ugh!!! waves of aversion! Really did try to move into it, not away from it, didn't bump anyone or glare at anyone and did mostly get smiles back, but exhausting beyond belief, so much stress in people's faces and bodies, in the air.
Christmas will be quiet hereabouts, apart from joining friends for Christmas dinner tomorrow - and that's just fine with me. Hope to sit for longer periods than usual, read a lot, walk a lot, do a bit of work... but viewiing the long holiday (not back to work until 3 January) with some apprehension - for the past three years I have been on retreat at this time of year.
Yes, Janice, welcome! Lovely to have you here. And warm holiday hugs to everyone.
I sat for 30 mins today. First time or that long a time. Caught glimpses, here and there, of the state of still luminosity but mostly it was a case of bringing the mind back to the breath, again and again, and endeavouring the remember that that action is the practise. Strangely, since then I have felt quite tearful and emotional and a bit overwhelmed - whether this is just everything else that's happening or whether the meditation time has something to do with it I don't know. Also feel I am neglecting the prayer side of things so I want to up that in the coming days.
Oh yes, and I caught myself planning a blog post here about the whole experience (ha!).
Switching off the PC now and going to meet my guest at the tube station. Not sure how the next few days will work out posting-wise, wait and see, but I still plan to sit - fortunately I am an early riser.
Christmas will be quiet here...when it arrives! But in the meantime I've cleaning to do, just a bit of Qarrtsiluni editing, and MORE GRADING!!!
(Can you believe my last two online classes ended LAST NIGHT? Originally grades were due on *Monday morning*, but someone had the foresight to move that back to Tuesday. But still...grading over Christmas? Jeez...just call me "Cratchit" already!)
I hope everyone has a peaceful (and mindful) holiday...
Interesting how much stress there is around for so many of you in terms of consumer pressure and other people! It's quite a challenge this time of year.
Julian and I are on a sort of retreat à deux. We really need and want to have a chance to reconnect, so we have declined invitations and are making decorations with twigs and fruit and gold leaf and spray, and shopped yesterday for the trad seafood and foie gras fiesta in the delightfully jolly les Halles at Avignon. We have had a lot of time over the year with visitors and family so this is our christmas present to one-another, and I have my first TREE as a grown up! We have 'A Bach Christmas' on radio 3 and will listen to the carol service in an hour so I can get my In The Bleak Midwinter fix!.
I sat for 15 minutes, wanting to really feel the joy and also the pain of this time of year, also to connect to the story. However, as ever, nothing quite so grand. Just baby steps, breath, softening a little, feeling a little less alienated etc. A lseeon in itself.
I send you all much love wherever you are, and warmth. You are all in my heart this season and I feel truly thankful for you all.
Morning spent finishing up the rest of the hats I've been knitting for NWWOL (Northwest Wings of Love) ... I'll deliver them to the Cancer Clinic later this afternoon after some last-minute grocery shopping.
I had intended originally that these hats would be for street people, but then decided they are too colorful ... homeless folks tend to want dark hats ... knitting, for me, is just another form of meditation. You can see some of them on my PictureTrail album.
Walking last night in the rain, chanting silently Emmei Jikku Kannon Gyo ... it felt like going home
Merry Christmas and happy holidays to all of you. I'm with my husband and my parents in a very rural, agricultural part of New York State. It is depressed here, and the people don't have much and are fearful of "the outside" - meaning everything beyond a radius of about 35 miles. I can ënter"it pretty easily, but there is little understanding of where I come from or who I am now - and that's OK, it's something that's been part of my spiritual practice with for many years now. I love the landscape here - it's where I grew up - and the simplicity and the quiet, although my parents chatter a lot and the TV is on a lot. For the most part, I am hoping our stay here will continue as it has started, without much stress and fuss. I wish you all a very good and peaceful holiday! I've been meditating whenever I remember, rather than sitting longer periods, which is impossible right now, but I feel buoyed by those of you who are finding longer times during these days. Love to everyone...
Woke in the middle of the night, which is the worst time for my mind begins to worry and gnaw on small anxieties needlessly. Spent some time awake and tense and then started to focus on the breath and suddenly, startlingly, found myself in a puddle of compassion, just my size. Gratitude.
Peace and love to you all, including the grinches! ;-)
7 Comments:
Janice, welcome!
My warmest holiday greetings to all of you.
Yesterday I sat for an hour in the morning, which was wonderful, although I felt tired and vague. Then spent the rest of the daylight hours shopping and returned home feeling destroyed, jumpy, unable to rest or sleep - ugh, ugh, ugh!!! waves of aversion! Really did try to move into it, not away from it, didn't bump anyone or glare at anyone and did mostly get smiles back, but exhausting beyond belief, so much stress in people's faces and bodies, in the air.
Christmas will be quiet hereabouts, apart from joining friends for Christmas dinner tomorrow - and that's just fine with me. Hope to sit for longer periods than usual, read a lot, walk a lot, do a bit of work... but viewiing the long holiday (not back to work until 3 January) with some apprehension - for the past three years I have been on retreat at this time of year.
Love and light, whatever you are doing.
Yes, Janice, welcome! Lovely to have you here. And warm holiday hugs to everyone.
I sat for 30 mins today. First time or that long a time. Caught glimpses, here and there, of the state of still luminosity but mostly it was a case of bringing the mind back to the breath, again and again, and endeavouring the remember that that action is the practise. Strangely, since then I have felt quite tearful and emotional and a bit overwhelmed - whether this is just everything else that's happening or whether the meditation time has something to do with it I don't know. Also feel I am neglecting the prayer side of things so I want to up that in the coming days.
Oh yes, and I caught myself planning a blog post here about the whole experience (ha!).
Switching off the PC now and going to meet my guest at the tube station. Not sure how the next few days will work out posting-wise, wait and see, but I still plan to sit - fortunately I am an early riser.
Christmas will be quiet here...when it arrives! But in the meantime I've cleaning to do, just a bit of Qarrtsiluni editing, and MORE GRADING!!!
(Can you believe my last two online classes ended LAST NIGHT? Originally grades were due on *Monday morning*, but someone had the foresight to move that back to Tuesday. But still...grading over Christmas? Jeez...just call me "Cratchit" already!)
I hope everyone has a peaceful (and mindful) holiday...
Welcome Janice! Great to have you on board!
Interesting how much stress there is around for so many of you in terms of consumer pressure and other people! It's quite a challenge this time of year.
Julian and I are on a sort of retreat à deux. We really need and want to have a chance to reconnect, so we have declined invitations and are making decorations with twigs and fruit and gold leaf and spray, and shopped yesterday for the trad seafood and foie gras fiesta in the delightfully jolly les Halles at Avignon. We have had a lot of time over the year with visitors and family so this is our christmas present to one-another, and I have my first TREE as a grown up! We have 'A Bach Christmas' on radio 3 and will listen to the carol service in an hour so I can get my In The Bleak Midwinter fix!.
I sat for 15 minutes, wanting to really feel the joy and also the pain of this time of year, also to connect to the story. However, as ever, nothing quite so grand. Just baby steps, breath, softening a little, feeling a little less alienated etc. A lseeon in itself.
I send you all much love wherever you are, and warmth. You are all in my heart this season and I feel truly thankful for you all.
Morning spent finishing up the rest of the hats I've been knitting for NWWOL (Northwest Wings of Love) ... I'll deliver them to the Cancer Clinic later this afternoon after some last-minute grocery shopping.
I had intended originally that these hats would be for street people, but then decided they are too colorful ... homeless folks tend to want dark hats ... knitting, for me, is just another form of meditation. You can see some of them on my PictureTrail album.
Walking last night in the rain, chanting silently Emmei Jikku Kannon Gyo ... it felt like going home
Merry Christmas and happy holidays to all of you. I'm with my husband and my parents in a very rural, agricultural part of New York State. It is depressed here, and the people don't have much and are fearful of "the outside" - meaning everything beyond a radius of about 35 miles. I can ënter"it pretty easily, but there is little understanding of where I come from or who I am now - and that's OK, it's something that's been part of my spiritual practice with for many years now. I love the landscape here - it's where I grew up - and the simplicity and the quiet, although my parents chatter a lot and the TV is on a lot. For the most part, I am hoping our stay here will continue as it has started, without much stress and fuss. I wish you all a very good and peaceful holiday! I've been meditating whenever I remember, rather than sitting longer periods, which is impossible right now, but I feel buoyed by those of you who are finding longer times during these days. Love to everyone...
Woke in the middle of the night, which is the worst time for my mind begins to worry and gnaw on small anxieties needlessly. Spent some time awake and tense and then started to focus on the breath and suddenly, startlingly, found myself in a puddle of compassion, just my size. Gratitude.
Peace and love to you all, including the grinches! ;-)
(Moose)
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